How life changes !

In my last entry I was struggling with the pain in my ankle/ achilles tendon caused by the 3 mosquito bites. Nearly a month later and I have changed, I still have the pain and am limited in my walking still because of the pain. Now that the swelling has virtually gone(which cushioned the injury a little) sleeping is difficult and painful but I am learning that it is all Jesus, I am his an he is mine. His death on the cross won freedom for me, but freedom is not always what our frail human minds call freedom.

For the second time in my life I felt the love of Jesus, had his arms around my Spirit, the first being at Ian Clayton Conference (COBH) just a few weeks ago.

The glory of Heaven shines for all to see if we will focus and see the reality for those who love Jesus.

Freddy Hayler helped this part of my journey as did a blog entry with the scripture Matthew 22 v 36 - 39.

I have always loved him loved JESUS, AND MY DREAMS HAVE RESTED WITH HIM. I REJOICE AT HEAVEN'S GLORY AND BEAUTY OF GOD'S LOVE.

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU, JOY JOY JOY JOY JOY OF HEAVEN IN MY HEART

In the Hard times Jesus is there

5 weeks ago I was at a 50th Birthday party of a lady called Julie, it was held at the home of friends, but it was near a canal. I got 3 mosquito bits on my left ankle and had by far the worst experience I have ever had with insect bits. On the same day I was taking antibiotics for an involuted big toenail on my right foot. My Mum, a retired GP said she was glad I was on the antibiotics because the bits were nasty and might have been infective otherwise.

My left ankle has been causing me trouble ever since, and I am struggling to cope with other issues related to the past as well as things going on in the world at large, I just feel sad right now. But even though I feel the sadness, always on my mind I have Jesus, he is my healer, my deliverer and I have nothing if I don't have him. My achilles tendon on my left ankle is the main pain right now, but it has been assaulted by an extreme reaction to the bits. and the swelling is constricting the tendon.

I am praying it won't last too much longer as it is hampering life and waring me out. I feel alone,isolated and in need of companionship, but I will do the best I can and give up my life to Jesus

The way I am feeling right now about my life is what am I here for, what is the point. I enjoy my craft work, but life has much more to offer than this, living in isolation is tough when you are struggling.
Perhap the struggle to cope on my own is the problem.

I love Jesus and want his kingdom to come and his will to be done in my life, but I am a little afraid that I won't be able to cope if I surrender everything to him. I guess I don't trust him as much as I should. Although he has never given me any reason to mistrust him. He is not like all the people who stamped on me or made my life a misery while growing up, and I suppose I am at a crossroads in my life right now and the choices I make in the days ahead will define my destiny in him, and what I achieve in my ministry. I have always believed that I had a calling on my life and calling to something bigger than what I am in now. I have been patient in the waiting, but struggled since the 16th July 2010, where things changed so dramatically for me, emotionally and has created conflict in the home and has not been easy, and is not getting any better in some ways.

I have had dreams in my heart and where I stand in my life right now was not part of those dreams, but I don't know how to achieve the things that God has called me to because I am stuck and constrianed by the limits of others, limits that do not exist in  the kingdom with Jesus. I don't want to buy into the lie of the devil that I am no use because that is not truth and I refuse to embrace that in my life.
What has caused most of the difficulties in my life, has been other people and barriers they have placed before me,instagated by the devil, and I refuse to allow the effects of his works to define my life, now or in the future. I love JESUS and Jesus LOVES ME. This is all I need to know.