Everything to serve my friend Jesus

All I have ever wanted was to serve Jesus. To know who I really am in Him, as I am with him in heaven, so shall I be with him on earth, to taste the goodness of heaven in a small way, in reality, frightened me, why? probably listening to the enemy to often,not paying attention to heaven more than what I see. But righteousness is what I am here for, to exihibit the love and goodness of God here in the Land, His land, His people, His place.
Today, I listened to 5 messages on xpmedia talking about the righteousness of God, mercy, glory, believing faith.Somehow at this point in my life the words really hit home.
I am set apart for God, for Jesus, for everything that is available for me, I want heaven, but more than that I want the Goodness of my papa to be manifest in the earth.
His love cast out fear from me today, it has been a long journey away from fear, but doing the prayer drive was the end of my past and the beginning of a new day for me. I have tasted of the authority of the believer, and I want more much much more and I trust Jesus and heaven to protect me and teach me his ways as I start the next part of the journey with him into the unknown and I am not afraid.

children are precious, children are Love

When I heard about the shooting at a primary school in America. I was upset and angry at the destruction but tears came as I watched President Barak Obama close to tears in press conference.
It was a progression of emotions through the day.
I have to know who I am as part of heaven and where my authority rests, I have to know that should something come my way. I would stand up for righteousness in the land.
Yes, I am not American, but I am a human being who dwells with Jesus in heavenly places.I see the bad of the situation, but I know that whatever happens in this world,he is the answer.
There are 26 families who will now remember 15th December 2012 for all the wrong reasons and Christmas will never be the same ever again.
Although I don't know what was in the mind of the person who went after little children to shoot and kill them. As a person loves Jesus, I really wonder where he is and whether he is pleased with what he has maybe found on the other side.
There is something majorly wrong and in human about someone who can do this to young children, hatred, mental illness, making a mark. Sad tradgedy in all ways, whatever the viewpoint.
Look after them heaven, Look after the families down here, greiving thier children.

Dreams which feel lost

One dream I held for many years was to go to university, which I did nearly 18 years ago now. Time is disappearing at an alarming rate. I see the signs of the times and I hear what people say but they are doing thier dreams. The dreams I had as a child have changed, but I am not sure what they have changed into and on a certain level the dreams I had feel lost.
I have not moved through life in a traditional way, and whilst I am very grateful that I don't have the kind of issues my peers would have, such as the people I went to uni with. The issues I have are different. To have my spirit hugged by Jesus twice has been wonderful, but this and other things has made the present harder to deal with, and although I stoically continue, my heart aches for something more. The goal is to love Jesus and do his will, to walk low to walk high, but in my heart of hearts, in all honesty I don't know if I do that, or if I am proud and don't walk with humility.The way I see things I have walked humbly with Jesus all my life.
My lack of evidence of service is not because I don't desire to serve,it is that I don't feel I have the ability to serve. I have never sort out fame or noteriety, as something "Iwanted to do". It was the dreams placed in my heart by Jesus always. Now I have the chance to start doing things, but I feel less than capable.But I also know that I can do "all things because Jesus strengthens me"

If I am alone because that is better for me now, I have to trust Papa and his plan for my life and just swim out into the deep water of his love and trust that he will support me and give me all I need to thrive in the days ahead. I have a view of a little of what is coming, and there is so much more to come.
If I am truly honest it has been my desire to be a woman on the frontline and to do great exploits with heaven, but I have allowed men/women to govern how life progressed for me, and at times I have struggled with this aspect of my life, but I am doing my journey and I have to find out how that journey goes from now on. The time for struggle is ended and I need to be who Papa created me to be and do the things he has asked me to do, especially as I now have a friend to do it with at least in part.
Papa's dreams for me are what I need to know and difficult times of the last three years are past. Undoubtedly there will be times where life is difficult or hard but I need to change my veiwpoint and see things from heaven's perspective.I will face the music and dance.