Hope, Dreams and living in the moment

My heart lives for Jesus Christ my friend, my comforter, the one who lights my world even when I feel sad or struggle at times, although the struggle is a lot, lot less now than it was.

I feel the beat of his heart and rhythym of life that is changing and growing with each day. The mystery of the kingdom, the reality of truth coming down from heaven via my heart connected to his. The joy of hope and dreams that are yet to come, but not far away.

My destiny in his hands, not in mine, his choice of what happens when, my obedience at the right time, a gift, a precious treasure to be revered and held lightly.

The dreams of his heart for me are treasures I don't understand, but I know that he cares for and loves me and his plan has a time to be full filled for me.

I can live in the moment more easily  because I travel with a light heart that does not require to know what is to come, but does what is now and tomorrow looks after itself, at least most of the time.

I feel Papa's heart for the nations, and sadness of the separation, from his children and teaching that made that happen. My heart, my being wants to walk with him closely and unreservedly with him day to day.

feeling what he feels, praying what he prays, speaking his words, changing the world little by little, moment by moment.

 Walking the world, walking the land and the waters, enabling the flow from heaven to become the flood of his glory that will change the world that I live in right now, to be Pure and Holy, justified by his grace, but valuing his grace for what it is, as a precious gift from his hand. The whisper of love and life that tells me I am free, really free to be everything he created me to be, regardless and in spite of everything that the natural world and circumstances tell me.  

I watched Kill the Christians recorded

Last night I watched a recorded documentary programme presented by Jane Corbin. I did not cry, but there was plenty to make that happen. I found myself feeling a kind a combination of angry/sadness that human beings for whatever reason can turn themselves so fully over to evil, that such great suffering is caused because of hate.
Hate is a horrid word, it sounds horrible and although I cannot say I have never felt hate as an emotion,it has never been the person I hated, but what they did to me or someone else. It is not the human being as a flesh and blood created being that I hate but the action, because it causes suffering.

As I watched the programme I saw people in situations that have been well reported, but which were not of their making as people who had lived in places and been Christian for generations in the Middle East.
small groups of the human race decide at points in history that they are going to commit genocide, just because of a difference in belief, one aspect that makes it impossible to allow the other to live or remain at peace. This happened 70 years ago, with the Nazi's killing the Jews, it happened in Yugoslavia, as was, in my own lifetime, and maybe it will happen again.

The world is so complex now, maybe it always was, and so many people are angry with deep hatred of Christianity, because we are different. But history has shown that our ancestors did so much that damaged the Middle East, through the crusades and choices that damaged Palestine. The recreation of Israel that was prophesied in the bible, so was destined to happen all along. Israel has not always managed things very well, but neither has Palestine.

My heart breaks for the sadness and suffering of all the nations around the world who are involved in some way with this situation that we have in the world, we are all suffering from the law of unforeseen consequences, not just of things done in modern times,but from things done by people, from right back in the land of myth and legend.

I walk the land  here in Wales and although I don't know the details of everything that has ever happened here, I feel the land, and I feel the life or the death of individual places and I know that this will be true of people in the Holy Valley of Lebanon and other people who walk the land Loving Jesus and feel the heart of what went on and deal with it. The truth is that Christianity has the power to change things and Islam is afraid because they listen to the evil part of their souls and what resides in them, so it is fear that fuels the evil fire in their hearts.
As we rise up in the opposite spirit of love and turning the other cheek and walking in Obedience to the voice of Papa God, being prepared to die! to ourselves to live or actually physical death if required this will be part of the change.

Finding the life I am destined to have

is the one I am living now but with a little more effort. This last 2 weeks of mum being ill then me being ill, feeling weak and shaky has made me think about my health yet again, and Auntie S with a big hole in her abdomen from an infection after hernia op and now clot in her arm.
I don't like hospitals and I don't want to put my self in the position of needing doctors and hospitals. I want to find health and fitness as much as I can, and be as motivated as I can to loose as much weight as I can so I can enjoy this life the way I am meant to.
It is a tough world out there and I want to make a difference to the world I live in, and  I always have, but it has not been at all easy to do this, because my body is not put together properly. Knees that hurt after a hardly any exercise and hurt for days after doing the bare minimum, makes weight loss all the harder. I need wisdom to know how to loose the weight  and keep it off.

Yes, I need to eat less, but how do I do that and not feel hungry or ill. I am upset because when I went on the medication and the first stone fell off I was hopeful that I would have lost more but it did not happen as Christmas came  and winter food. My body shut down as it does during winter and here I am now.
I hope this summer I can get rid of another stone and half and that I have the courage to go for it.

I want to be healthy and not diabetic any more, if that is possible for me to do, I am angry that I allowed myself to get caught in this way and that it happened in my late 40's.

Please, Please I need some help to overcome this body that you gave me.

The river changes flow in 2015

The title is a prophetic word I received at Pat and Tony John's on 30th December 2014. I did not know what it meant at the time but I am realising it has many meanings. We are expecting change at all times form now on. But some change is more felt. I sense as many others have that we are about to have Revelation beyond our imagining and things will never be the same.

The hopes and dreams of many people who love Jesus will be suddenly resurrected, after many years hidden away almost dead in deep places of their hearts. There will be an exploding of gifting that will be like nothing ever seen before, and change will take place faster and faster as the numbers of people find thier place in heaven and on the earth

There were ideas for many years about how we thought things would be with revival, but those things need to be forgotten in favour of something far bigger  and something we can only understand as Ambassadors of heaven. Revival is coming but not as we used to think or expect.

I believe that revival is going to drop on earth like rain, that the cloud walkers and the burning ones like us will argue in the courts of heaven for the rain of heaven to flow, via dreams, words of songs, blueprints and many other ways  and it is already happening. It will start with the Body of Christ, but people of other faiths and no faith will have dreams and visitations that they know they encountered heaven even though they don't understand it and may find it difficult

This is not just Britain but around the world, we as the body will be responsible for teaching all these people to disciple them, but we will not be the evangelists in the old sense.

There are going to be many people who love Jesus doing many exciting, amazing things ( re Kat Kerr feb 2015 podcast).Watch out things are moving.

The long road to recovery: feeling the bug

Why this title? well this is what it feels like today. two weeks ago I started  the aches and pains, which my mum also went through just before me, then I got the "cough" and I have spent the last 5 days coughing my insides out with no respite, unless medication taken. Then the headaches and exhaustion and the malaise of the struggle to cope with feelings ill for 2 weeks. Mum is into her 3rd week and still not fully recovered, and I, well I am feeling grumpy, although the coughing seems to have eased a little today, although just had a coughing fit just this minute, famous last words eh!!

I love spring as a season and Easter is precious to me because of what it means, but it has been hard this year because of this bug, I have added back the weight which I lost leading up to it. Weight control is a pain in my life, and trying to get the balance has been hard all my life. From the depths of my very being I want to conquer it and find the right ratio of eating to exercise, that will work for me. If I can achieve that then I will be happier about myself and my life.

Feeling Grumpy is horrid and I don't like it, as I am generally a happy person, or at least I try to be. Life has its trials for all people at one level or another, so I am not saying I am any different, a part from the fact that I live with my mum and I don't have a job, but I work hard at my craft, but I rarely have anyone visit or any close friends who spend time with me, so I feel even more lonely during times like this. If mum is really poorly as she was a couple of years ago or last year. I felt totally alone and needed to email someone just so I didn't feel alone.

Friendship and community have become a greater issue with me, based on the fact that people I may need for help are too far away, should travel become impossible for some reason, and I am feeling this quite deeply in my life right now. As Mum gets older, I want to believe that things will not go the expected way.
But as things stand, right now, all I have on this planet is mum to help me. Yes, my brother is there, but he is not the same and would not see the world the way I do, even though I love him and value him. My desires in the Kingdom would not be taken into consideration. I can understand why people move into community living.