A version of the truth part 2 - My truth

As I look around me and see the sadness being caused by people who are afraid, whatever they believe, which is not in peace and harmony with G-d, the G-d of the bible, whom I believe created me.
Many people say religion has caused most of the problems in the world, and on many levels I have to agree, because people made judgements and took actions that went against what was actually being said.
This is happening today with extreme Islam, they place the whole of western society in the same bucket, believing wrongly that the free attitude to sex, dress and alcohol practised by large groups of people, is by any means true of every person. They have  chosen hot to see, because they hate things that were done in the past.

Living by rules, living by an intellectual faith that does not connect with the heart of a man, woman or child is dead. This is why we are struggling with extreme islam, because people who's minds are already messed up are brainwashing people into what they believe. This is true all around the world, with any Extremist Islamic group whatever thier name or affiliation.

I have walked with Jesus for many years and I choose to be happy in him. I choose to believe that I am protected by him behind the veil of his presence in my life, and I choose not to be afraid of Ebola, or Islam and say that I choose Joy and Love no matter what, because I do not want to be part of anything other than the kingdom of G-d.

My heart, and not my mind, is the important thing to connect with Heaven, and I want to walk with Jesus and change the world for the better, to have a heart on fire with his love, his joy his peace and his love, because that is who I am and this is what I am called to at this time in History. 

Politics and the human mind cannot overcome  what goes on in  this reality, only G-d, only Jesus, and with the help of the host of heaven will things change.  

A version of the truth part 1

In the 21st century we are living with off the shelf ideals and handpicked religion that has no respect for truth, and only lives for this reality, unless they are putting themselves to death as martyrs for a god and future that they fear would be worse for them.
I will never know the answer, but I wonder what the people who did get to the other side feel and what is their experience there. Death is not as it has been understood in the past.
This flesh made body does give up, and go to another place, but our spirit lives on, and it is the choice of where the spirit lives on, that we are choosing when we choose to accept Jesus. I know that people I love live on in heaven.
I feel the sadness and tragedy of families who's teenagers are going to Syria to fight, they are choosing the path to an end that will only destroy, and end in wailing and tears.
The world is in conflict because there is just hatred and the desire for power, over any person who can be under the thumb of another person.
I know that anyone persecuting the church around the world, is being driven by all that is evil, and they are afraid that what they believe is, whether cultural religion or faiths of different kinds, may not be the TRUTH or the truth that they believe.
At this time in many parts of society there is a belief that there is no such thing as the TRUTH, that there is no moral absolute or governing principle that guides our life, unless you have a faith  that truly works for you and means something to the person, rather than just a thing to do socially.
It is complex and sad because right now things could change so quickly and in amazing ways, if people believed in Jesus, and dropped the arguments of centuries, and decided to live in unity.
Reality and truth are not what man decided, it is what our creator decides. He loves this world and he loves his children, his whole creation, and if we all really understood this then the world would be a different planet, this would be a different universe.

My experience of forced change

2013/2014 have been difficult because of health. I have blood that produces to many red blood cells, which meant that I had to have a pint of blood taken this summer as therapy. This was stressful because in 2004 I had pancreatitis due to gallstones and was in hospital for ten days on drips etc not of which was easy.
Then July 2014 I was found to have type 2 diabetes. Both these require 3 monthly blood tests, which is stressful for someone who does not like needles and has autism. Also because I was not diagnosed with Autism at the time of my hospital stay I found that it has left me with a kind of post trauma stress thing that adds to my difficulties when coping with all this. Also I often don't feel really well, and I do sometimes wonder because my auntie heather died of myloma in sept 2013. I am not accepting that this will be the same for me, but I still wonder in the back of my mind sometimes.

I want to make the best use of my life that I can, inside my mind but the life I lead does not seem satisfactory and feels like I am wasting time at some level, and yet I struggle to do even the basic, plus mum feels that I don't do enough to help around the house, so I feel guilty for not helping which does cause friction, especially when we are both stressed, although this happens less, I have to live in a clutter around the house that I cannot change because Mum won't let me help, so I retreat to my craft and writting
Forced change has meant we don't have a dog, since sassy died in Sept 2010, I used to walk her everyday, but I don't like going out walking on my own now as it hurts to be reminded she is gone, but walking has been difficult since I had insect  bites in  July 2011 or 12, that made an existing achilles tendon injury flare up and has caused alot of pain and wieght gain, that lead to the type 2 diabetes???

Life has been difficult and in many ways full of Forced change for me since the beginning of the 2000's, but the last few months have been spiritual forced change and I think that this is why I am going through a difficult patch is because forced change is happening, right now in my life.

 Even loosing my Job in 2005, and having a diagnosis of Asperger Syndrome, although good in it's outcome was a type of forced change that was a transition psychologically that I am still coping with because of everything that is going on with Benefit changes in the natural and being in the position of not having the availability of jobs suitable for me in 2005/2006. So even if I wanted a job, I feel there is less chance now than there was then. Plus it was not my choice to not have a job, the Job centre told me there were none available for my particular needs.
Besides I would need a certain amount of healing both psychologically as the ongoing damage of failure has left its mark, whether my fault or not and physically because of all the above, I don't feel capable of working.

Dreams of dreams and Maturity in the Kingdom

For 3 decades I have held the picture of me in the future, on a stage with a microphone in my hand, a supernatural experience I had in 1987, and which I share with my mum who had the same picture about me in 1987, People have said that the things I am doing in relation to autism campaigning etc are a fulfillment of this picture. But I can still remember how it felt, and I have not come to the experience of how that felt, so I am still holding that picture in my heart. Also  That Picture plus another one I  have had within the last 2 months, the two are joining together and beginning mingle, why I am feeling the way I do. This is why I am feeling more certain that picture from 30 years ago.
It is one of my dreams to see this fulfilled.
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My next dream/desire is to achieve maturity in the kingdom, and the way that I.C most often teaches is taking another person through the journey into the mystery of the walk with G-d, but I always struggle because I know I am not ready for that yet but, I cannot even see the possibility in my life, because I don't socialise very easily and when I do I just sit in rooms full of people, and I never have a conversation, because I have difficulty that way.
I also feel whether, this is a lie from the enemy making me have false thoughts, which I think is the case. I feel that because I don't pursue healing  for Aspergers, and make an effort to change that I have been left to get on with it, especially, Most people around me in COBH don't know I am on the spectrum and I often feel isolated in the group, but I feel called to COBH, but it costs me to go to the meetings as I often feel this way, but I cope with it with Jesus Help.
How am I ever going to get to maturity if I have to struggle with coping with meetings, and with feeling Isolated when I need friendship, but don't know how to get it anymore. I rest with Jesus who is my biggest closest friend, but I really desire someone who is friend that I can discuss with the things that I find I difficult in life.
This has nothing to do with being alone, or not having any one notice if I was gone. I don't mind being alone with my own company. It is more some one who has the time to get to know me and I get to know them,
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The situation I find myself  in this last couple of months is to do with some change that is happening in me and I have felt vulnerable, since Mum and I went for a meal with Peta Condon (Aus)in June 2014. Infact this may be the reason why I am having a difficult time. It actually feels like a butterfly that is struggling to emerge, after being a caterpillar. That I am changing and I feel tender because I am being changed in quite a radical way. I am not sure what the result will be like but I know it will be different
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Loving Jesus from the deepest Place

I have had a difficult few days but I am still  loving Jesus from the deepest place in me. The challenges of health, living with Aspergers are ongoing but I still have the hope of better things, even when there is disappointment or sadness, feeling weak in the middle of a world where war and conflict is manifesting in so many places, where Ebola in western Africa has been left, because it is "over there" and seemed not to have mattered, even though we are a modern world with aeroplanes, let alone the idea of an attitude that says "Africa does not matter, until it affects us in the west", and the fact that Medicines Sans Frontieres was  asking for help in February, because it was already out of control.

I see these things and I declare what I want to happen, it takes time but it happens, and although I was frustrated, I knew that if people in the western world got the idea it would affect them, then I knew something would happen, but I also hold it in my heart that this will only be overcome by what humans do on the ground and prayer for protection of the people who are going to do something about it.

In the deepest place in me I know that I am in G-d and he is in me and whatever happens he is looking after me. Even when I feel like I am alone and I don't have a human friend or a husband I have him and he is everything, and all, even though I still struggle with the lack of these other things day to day my hope rests in Papa G-d, for all the difficult things that I see on the news and I know that I am in him and he is in me.

Learning to love Jesus and other people has been a long and at times, difficult journey that I am still contending with even though the people around me now are kind to me , and may not realise this is the case.
But I still love Jesus and know that I am in him and he is in me and I have the future me to come to the present. I am known in heaven, I have seen my heaven self. I am tall, robed in armour that Glistens with a translucent quality,but is colourful beyond description, and the sword I am holding is scary and looks like it could kill a few demons in one go.
So even though I feel weak, tired and out of sorts I know that I am in him,He is in me and nothing can separate me from him.

My time is nearly here for my future self to be manifest in the earth and this is why I am having a difficult time like a caterpillar transforming to a butterfly, you are going through a transition, where you will be all I have called you to be Karen. 

Views Opinions and thoughts

Anyone who has read the last two entries in my blog may feel that I am getting at someone or trying to infere that one group or other is at fault.
This is not the case and I just wanted to make things clear that I have no axe to grind with Israel/Jewishness or Islam although I am more than upset at what is happening in other nations. I hold these places in my heart and tenderly pray from the centre of my being for all that is taking place in these days.

Please understand that if my views or anything I have written does not agree with other veiwpoint or causes offence that was not my desire. freedom to express a view is what I have the ability to do and I value it, but niether do I want to missuse it.

And now to another entry

The Blessing has come and teaching from the Jewish Nation Part 2

Although I knew about holocaust denier's, I never understood why they even existed, when fact and proveable numbers of people went missing and also all the piles of shoes,suitcases and clothes left in the camps. I understood that Jewish people would be upset and fight for their futures.
But I understand more now as I have been taught of heaven, I realise it is offensive to say that these things never happened,  and it cuts to the heart, because where are they?, what happened to them?, if they were still around, they could be visited?, but they cannot because they are gone.
My understanding of these issue, is that a survivor knows what it was like, they know the terrible truth, they went through it, so any denial from anyone who becomes nasty about it becomes personal to an individual, because this was thier future, thier dreams and thier Hopes Lost, because one man got it into his head that the Jewish nation, were responsible for J---s death on the Cross, unbelievable as many did not even believe in J---s was the messiah at the time and that was a good enough reason to try and get rid of them.
The more I learn, more I feel the Heart of G-d, the more I understand the loss of the past, and the ongoing effect in the present day. Because Israel fights to remain free, and others fight for what they believe to be freedom, but may actually destroy the world trying to achieve it, as people out of control have no limits, but for the ruler of this universe is the one who is in control.

I love Israel and I have spent many years praying for and holding them in my heart, but I also love the Arab nations who are struggling with the situation in Iraq,

Real freedom to be the people we were created to be is the only freedom that works, when real unconditional love is mixed in, people walk around in peace and harmony, rather than listening to voices from another place, which creates fear of the unknown and hatred of others they do not understand and judge the majority as representative of the whole population.

Freedom is only freedom when it is not misused or abused as it is by some who think that certain dress is OK, yes we have our own issues, but there are people who recognise these issues and are trying to address them. Judgement always brings difficulties, and causes conflict and we are going through this right now at this point in History. Only my G-d can change it.

The Blessing Has Come and teaching from the Jewish nation Part 1

As I think of Sian's story I am totally amazed and as I read the blessing I am amazed. It is marker from Heaven, and I know very little about what it means to the future. But one thing I do know is this, that we need the knowledge and  understanding of  the Jewish community, as the other half of the story, they hold a depth of  understanding that will enrich the Body of the Church.

I know in my heart that things need to start to change within the church and the understanding needs to grow between the Jewish and Christian communities, around the world.
The diabolical attitudes of anti semitism, need to be seen for what they are, untruths, lies and jelousy/ hatred, which have no place in the truth and love of heaven

I am not going to get into the arguements, because I do not see the need. What I see and what I understand from the way Papa G-d has been talking to me through  the TV films "Rememberance of Love", and " Never Forget", as well as through the prophetic and other people's stories, I can see a theme arising and I feel the heart of G-d for his people. He wants us to work together, he wants justice for his people, both Arab and Jew. I can feel it arising within me and know it to be true, while at the same time, there is suffering and battle ahead, but the bible says of G-d "My yoke is easy and my burden is light" and he is the one in control.

Papa G-d has revealed by his hand regarding the situation with Islam. I can see the fear and the anger that resides in the heart of men who believe in the faith that generations have lived long before them, but the "Christians" of the past went after both Jews and Arabs and fought them and killed indiscriminately down the centuries.
 Many of the things they did, were done because they were blinded, and making the wrong choices, Just as today radical Islam has grown out of fear that what they have faith in is no longer working, and they are listening to evil voices that encourage this behaviour.
The relationship between Jews,Arabs and Christians, has been manipulated by myth, theology and untruths over many generations.
As Christians revelation and truth is being revealed and gradually things that were done, like the crusades are being repented of and individuals are saying sorry.
Israel is between a rock and hard place, because it has to fight for its freedom,because of it's past, and its desire that NEVER AGAIN, will they loose thier freedom to be, and then people see the ARABS  and start condemning Israel, there are issues regarding what Arabs who are radical want to do to Israel.
Just imagine for a moment that the Caliphate happened to Israel, a nation that has in the past experienced the total hatred of a nation, that herded them like animals in to trains, took them to the gas chambers, and experimented on children and adults in ways that we cannot bare to think of. Israel know it would be like, because, to say yes to a caliphate, would be the end of freedom for them.
I realise that the Arab nations were educated and civilised long before we were in britian, and possibly the rest of europe, but that does not mean that we would be happy to live in a caliphate, because that is not freedom or democracy. We have had to fight hard down the centuries for our freedom to be.
Dictatorships run amock without any regard for compassion and Justice and that is Why Israel fights.