Welcome New Year 2016

Another year has passed and we are into the new, 2016 is going to be different, indeed it already has. Old neighbours rang to wish us happy new year, and we were the only people out this year really.
I rang a small bell and let off some party poppers.

we watched the big ben countdown on the telly after seeing in the new year and had a cuppa.
It has been a chilled christmas 2015 and different in lots of ways, but nice nonetheless.

The only thing is all the decorations coming down, I love christmas and like to keep my tree up for a few days more than the big one in the front room, but I also recognise that moving on is part of the change of year and new things, but I am not very good at that, but I want to get better at it.

Friendship & friends to be found in 2016

The last ten years have been the safest I felt in a church fellowship setting, and on lots of levels I found my place and was happy, even though  I rarely if ever met anyone outside of the few meetings  that happened at GG. Then Just before Christmas, we were told that this structure had gone, that the relationship would continue, as and when organised by others.

As a person on the autism spectrum, I have struggled to make lasting friendships, and the ones I did have circumstances or change of heart on the part of people meant they ended. For the first 38 years of my life I did not know I had Aspergers Syndrome, and when I did know the diagnosis, although it helped tremendously in lots of ways. It did not help in the relationship area because I had lost confidence years ago  in my ability to make friendships.

I feel lonely not because I am alone, I am happy with my own company mostly, but there are times, like when mum is ill, I need help and companionship to get through it, because I have to do the house stuff and look after her, which I don't mind doing at all, but it is a struggle to cope in those times.

Also another aspect of my lack of effort at trying to make friendships, is down to the fact that I am not sure whether people want to be my friend, I am really glad that Elaine Evans has linked up  with me and I am grateful for this relationship, but that is one person, I don't know if people want to be bothered  with a person with like me, also the other side of the thing is that people who don't know I have Aspergers Syndrome, so perhaps think something that is far from the case.

I will be 50 in 2016, and I want to be free of this emotional encumbrance, but I have to address the issue and actually start asking people if they will be my friend and explain to them, when appropriate about the past.
I actually feel that I don't really have very good friendship skills, even at home with mum as she often says that she wants to be my friend more, but  I get told I am selfish and don't care about her, perhaps that is why friendships failed in the past, but no one told me and maybe if they had told me  and maybe I am not a good friend to my mum because I don't know how to make and keep friends, or at least that is how it has seemed for me.

Thinking about 2016 and the floods of December 2015

As I have watched the news over the last few weeks with all the flooding, and the devastating effects of all that is going on for these people, what they have lost and what is so hard. I feel for all of them.
But there are other issues.
I see another thing going on and in a world where we are talking about climate change, all these floods have created a literal mountain of damaged furniture, white goods and carpets that just have to be dumped because they are polluted and dangerous and not salvageable. This in turn requires more energy and more resources, to make more and more.
Whilst I recognise that there are other people's lives and jobs involved in providing those goods, there is a disconnect with reality.
Paris december 2015 conference made thier agreement where the signing countries have made the 2. something degrees, reduction? and yet we are still as western nations pushing forward with all the strength we can muster, on manufacturing  and all other things that require energy in amounts that cannot be sustained, and other nations like India and China are now following in our footsteps, creating more and more pollution.
This planet is a living organism, and nations act like they can do as they want and it is no one else's business.
But the floods and the storms and the changes we are seeing, although science would not recognise this, I am really beginning to think that the rate of change has speeded up and that the planet does not recover totally before the continuing change progresses.
The floods are evidence of  the progressive desire for more and more and more of everything, without thought for the future.
I am beginning to consider what I can do myself reasonably to do my part, outside of what I am already doing.
The human mind in general has a higher opinion of itself in general terms and we have achieved a lot but the planet as it is, needs something far more radical than any human being can achieve, the disconnect and burying of multiple heads in the sand over decades and centuries requires a change that has not yet been imagined. 

New Year 2016 - the start of adventure

As the new year is just days away I am looking forward to the adventures ahead. New years eve will be different this year as our neighbours of 25 years had to move this year, and the new neighbours are doing the house before moving in so, no one to share NYE with.

I want to find more of Jesus this year and walk with him through the this year more deeply and the flame of his love shining more powerfully in me. His love flowing through me will change the world, his heart filling me with his joy, his light and the glory of heaven.

This is a time of hardship for so many people with all the floods and it is prayer and our position in heaven that will change things. There are tough times ahead but I want to bring Jesus to the land, heaven on earth as stated in the Lord's prayer, "May your will be done on earth as it is in heaven"!

What will the world look like in 15 or 20 years time if we take up the position we were made to fill. Justice and peace for all, love and care for all. Truth over ruling lies fed by the one who loves to do his own thing.

dreams that change the world held in the heart of the Creator, and given to his children to show his glory to the nations, what changes are afoot in the lead up to 2020, as we progress towards that time what will have transpired? and how will things look?

God's love going to shine through Autism Ability being revealed pt 2

Over the years people like Stephen Wiltshire have demonstrated amazing gifts in art and other areas of culture, but they have been regarded as autism savants. However, I believe that this idea or fact as it has been seen will be washed away over the next few years. As I said in pt 1. that communication is the issue with anyone with severe autism or more high functioning autism.
The focus has been on how to get us to function as the rest of society within it and making us square pegs try and squash into round holes, which is impossible, especially as research and science are beginning to find differences in the structure of the brain's of people on the spectrum.
I have the feeling that as more is learned about individuals and differences are understood more and more, we will be valued for what we can bring to the world, rather than being regarded, as an encumberance by some parts of society, and government.
At this point I want to say I am truly grateful for all the wonderful people who do such great work for all with Autism, and I know that they are looking for the best practice and doing the right thing, but I also see that the true numbers of people who have autism, are not really known, especially with adults, of which I am one. So things have got to change radically in some way, so that people on the autism spectrum who do not need 2 or three people to provide care, like myself, but still struggle to achieve a full time job.
Rather than forcing us in to work environments that we are not able to sustain for whatever reason because of individual difficulties (square peg into round hole).
Finding ways to enable and assist us into our own businesses perhaps using existing interests and gifts and providing support throughout the duration rather than setting us up to fail and fall flat on our faces
I also think that attitudes need to change, because this suggestion would be looked at and dismissed, because of bearuacray and closed minds. The present Government is wanting to lessen the benefit burden, but do not appreciate the stresses and incongruities of living with autism or aspergers.
It is demeaning for me to go to a Job Centre as I did up until 2006 and be faced with Jobcentre Officers who ignored my difficulties even after diagnosis. I felt humiliated that I was in the position of having to be at the Job Centre in the first place, and whenever I was there I felt like I wanted to run out the place, but had to force myself to endure the whole thing. These are the things that life on the autism spectrum throws at you and I have to say that although I did not choose to be on benefits, I am truly glad that the humiliation of dealing with the Jobcentre , was taken away, and  that I do not have to attend anymore. There are loads of similar stories out there and although my hope is that it has changed with the autism awareness  training that has taken place within the Job Centre, I don't want to find out until I need to.
We need to find ways to help people on the autism spectrum fit in in a way that is comfortable for them.

God's love going to shine through Autism ability being revealed pt 1

Over the next year the view of people with Autism is going to change radically. There is hidden ability and talent which needs help to be revealed. Gifts that have been hidden will be allowed to shine. This has already started in small ways but there will be more and more young autistic people, as well as adults who thought they had been left by the way who suddenly find that these abilities are now recognised. Indeed they will not just be recognised but they will find they can earn a living.
There will be buisnesses set up purely to support and help with the things that autistic people find difficult individually, it will be worth the money to train and learn about what each person needs because the skills  of these autistic individuals make it worth while.(I believe that all people on the spectrum are worth something, as I am on the spectrum myself)
Parents who thought they would have to provide for thier children for the rest of their lives will find that as people try new ways of connecting with thier children that the disconnect will begin to connect, and there are going to be some fabulous stories emerging over the next year and in the years following.

I know God loves and cares for all parents and all children, but he cares about those who are on the spectrum in a more tender way, as he does for all who travel their lives differently, on the earth, he has a plan for every person on the spectrum and even those unable to connect right now.

In the relatively recent past autistic children were left and no one did anything to help them because no one knew how, but there has been gradual change and the realisation that these children had rights as much as anyone else.
The more that people learn about how the autistic brain works, the less I hope they will want to change us to be like them (neurotypical - anyone who is not at the autistic end of the spectrum).
People on the spectrum with additional needs, would probably like to be rid of seizures(tonic colonic or epileptic) and the disconnect with the world must be confusing and upsetting, but autism is more about the inability to communicate needs and feeling and all the things that make us who we are.
It is more about finding ways to communicate, that are gentle for the individual and cause as little stress to them as possible, but add dignity and a better quality of life.

Success as Major Tim Peake gets to ISS

15th December 2015 was a landmark day, our first qualified Astronaut in space. I find it weird to think of the six men up there in the ISS and the busy time that Tim Peak is going to have. 6 months in weightlessness,doing experiments, finding out about how the lack of gravity affects the human body.
As I see things and consider the cooperation between Europe, Russia and America in regard to space flight.
I wonder Why? things are going to war over Ukraine? Why are people any people trying to blow the world up, when people like Tim Peake are up there doing things that may make our lives better.

The NASA/ESA/and Russian is somewhat amazing and I find it quite moving that this continues on with unfettered goodwill and understanding between three very different cultures, they have chosen to work together and signed agreements to do so, which just goes to prove that if the choice to live peacefully is made then it is done.

We live in a world of choices and the current environment of terror is the choice of people who hate peace and have gone down a path which is an absolute choice, justified in their minds and hearts.

The foolishness of returning to a past which was undoubtedly not a nice place to be then and will make things worse for the whole of Humanity, let alone make it better!?

I am pleased and proud of people who are prepared to take the risk to go into space to do stuff, even if the money seems extreme and we cannot see the point, as things seem to be so difficult financially in Europe,America and Russia.

In the year's ahead it is my prayer that all these things will be worked out as those that know what to do take on their responsibilities  

Tim Peake is due back on 6th June 2016, he has alot to do before then. I'll be thinking of him and the other astronauts alot over the coming days.

Paris Friday 13th 2015 Liberte,Egalite,Fraternite

I now feel OK to write about this to stand with my French Brothers who stand for Liberty,Equality and Brotherhood.
I do not have the words to fully express the absolute sadness and the shock at what took place on Friday 13th November 2015. It did not touch my life in that I was not involved directly, BUT,a big BUT it touched my humanity, as it did thousands of other people.
I feel also for the people who value their Islamic roots and faith, who do not go down the same path as the people who did this crime.
I know many people will not see it this way, but I regard it a tragedy that people, young people will do something like this because they will be in "Paradise"!! for doing it. It must be a really sad world that they live in to even think that.
These are not disenfranchised people, they really believe in what they are doing and are going for it, but also hatred, that is based in the bad behaviour of the western nations of Europe, but has no real understanding of anything that relates to true Christianity.
My heart and my head needed time to digest the happenings of the last few days in Paris, and I needed to respond in a manner that was befitting to the situation.
I stand with france and Paris and declare solidarity with the nation and its people and I Pray for Paris.

Love stands strong in the heart of God

Love stands strong in the heart of God 

Tears unleashed by a broken world

Love stands strong in the heart of God

Gentle hands to tend the hurt

Love stands strong for all humanity

The voice of a saviour who broke our vanity

Love stands strong with my Father God

His love for me causes my  love for the world.

Love stands strong in my day to day

The mundane becomes extraordinary

When Heaven comes my way.

Love stands strong as I learn to love my Jesus

The relationship gets stronger

I as my passion for him increases.

Love stands strong, where the mess of life is seen

That as humanity we endeavour

To walk with the unseen.

Love stands strong, as the burning heart of God

The tenderness and the passion of  His love

The true reality of Heaven

As servants in the flame of His  heart.

 By Karen R. Thompson

In this world, not of it

In this world, not of it

Brother's and sister's in Jesus

Love for the world

Not always shown well.

Some pain of the past imparted

But love is the Key

Generosity of heart

The love Jesus gave when He died for me

In this world, but not of it

God's Goodness as He always is,

But the brokenness and anger

of those who don't love him.

With pain he has to allow restitution.

In this world, but not of it 

We stand at heaven's call

This is time for His glory to shine

This time when all that against him

Will be shaken and will fall.

In this world, but not of it

Live continues to roll 

The speed of the new approaching

The Ekklisia will grow.

By Karen Thompson

Giving my heart to heaven

Giving my heart to heaven

Giving my heart to Him

Giving my all to Jesus

Blessings received from Him.

Giving what I have 

My gifts whatever they are

The love that Jesus gave me 

The love that makes my heart soar

Giving my heart to heaven

The passion grows in my core

The flame of the fire of Enoch

The cloud rider in my soul.

Giving my heart to heaven

Giving my heart in love

The battle has been difficult

As my humanity causes a wall

Giving my heart to heaven

Giving my heart to him

The depth of my endurance,

Can only be helped by Him.

Giving my heart to Jesus

The author of my Faith

The one who wins my heart

The one I truly embrace. 

By Karen R. Thompson

Loving Jesus, Loving those around me

Things are changing

Things are changing everyday

People flooding the euro way

Choices made to get a new life

The Battle to live without unending strife.

Things are changing  everyday

Walking the ekklisia way

Bringing heaven and earth together

The Hope and Joy of loving one another.

Things are changing everyday

Battles rage in every way

Peace the goal of every man

Struggling to find that shore.

Things are changing everyday

Lives broken by everyday

Jesus broken for each man

Every woman held in his palm.

Things are changing everyday

Children dieing or being killed

Loosing so many whose scrolls are yet to be fulfilled 

Things need to change in our western mindset

We look for success as our fulfilment.

By Karen Thompson                  

Love, Joy, Peace unlimited with him

Love, Joy, Peace  with him where I am.

Living with Him everyday is my goal

The place where he is on display

Love, Joy, Peace

The evidence that I decrease

Living with him that he increases.

Living with him everyday is my goal

Chasing the enemy of my soul

Making time to find my way to the person

Who chases away.

Love joy peace making way for him

Feeling the life flowing from within.

Ancient paths, Holy ways

Heart that beats

For eternal swathes

Song of the earth

Growing and changing

Seeds sown by the ancient of days

Song of the voice that flows from heaven

Earth dominions, other dimensions

Finding the path to the heart of this time

A new era, a new mountain  to climb

destiny to walk the ancient paths

Destiny in the heart of God.

Love for those around me and feeling lonely

As a person on the Autism Spectrum, I have had friends, but those friendships ended in difficult ways mostly. All of them before I the autism diagnosis. The ongoing problem is I find it difficult to start new friendships that go anywhere because I fear the pain of  Breakup or loss. I also find that people don't make the effort to be a friend, unless they can see past what autism is in my life and there are people who can do this and see my gifting in some areas, but day to day, I am left alone with Mum and one year melds into another, having been to meetings to do with issues around autism, gatherings with family, gatherings in homes for teaching with other people who love Jesus, but these are infrequent and large parts of life are lonely.

Since 2004 when I had pancreatits due to gallstones( This was a traumatic time in my life), which is 2 years before we met all the people we now relate to now. They did not know me before 2004, and I am still feeling the effects of that time in some areas of my life.
I am not really bothered about what people think of me anymore, because I am just as much a part of the kingdom of heaven as anyone else is, but I do feel abandoned sometimes.
I know the HofH are around me, but I have to learn how to interact in new ways.

I truly love those people around me, that is why I make cards for people on their birthdays, and try my hardest to be the best I can at gatherings. The effort it takes to attend, the big gatherings/conferences is not obvious to anyone looking on, but I do find them tiring, because I have to deal with the unknown and people who do not know me or what I am dealing with personally. This has been the more so, since diagnosis of type 2 diabetes and a blood disease where I make too many red blood cells and have to have blood taken every 3 months, so I have to visit the hospital every 3 months, which I absolutely hate.
This is why I feel alone and not cared for, and this is not helped by the fact that, alot of the people whom I relate also have ongoing health problems or family who have, so it would be difficult to give me their time  for that reason.
I want to show my love and care to those around me, but knowing how to do this appropriately can be the crux of the problem, so rather than do or say the wrong thing, I do or say nothing and that is hard, because that is  a kind of ongoing suffering that no human being seems to recognise or understand. It is also difficult to explain. So I remain in my relationship with Jesus and I walk the paths with him,knowing that that suffering is doing something in me but it is not nice.

Love for Jesus, grows me into him and love for the world around me

Finding my position in all of this, next to Jesus walking the path with him. His love has changed me in some ways, I recognise and some I don't. The stress of change, not knowing what is to happen to the world, is hard. I know it is not my problem to deal with on my own, but I want to work with heaven, work with Papa God, to see something change for the better, because he loves me and died for me.
I feel the land and its heartbeat, I feel the way the Spirit is moving and I don't see it in terms of future generations. I see as now we need to do something, we can say it is this or it is that, but it is what Papa wants which matters. As my love changes gradually and I grow into him, love for the people who suffer grows, because I know what suffering is, I remember what suffering is, and I still suffer the attitudes of other people who do not accept where I am coming from.
Not the people around me now so much now , but people who I relate to at a distance, don't really know me.
Love is as much about them, as it is about those who are kind to me, I care them and about the suffering in the world and I care about, the place I live in and as love grows in me, so it enlarges the way I see the world and what is going on in it.
Things have got to change radically to see things change and I believe that this is what we have to position ourselves for, this is the alignment of Love, the alignment of hope, the alignment of Justice and the alignment of justification by heaven.
Suffering is part of this world, but if we come in the opposite of war, which is what Germany is doing, then, the fear of what happens to countries in the future is not wholly our responsibility, while we need to be wise, we should not allow this to govern at the expense of compassion.
God is the one who has control, and we need to work with him, we have to give of ourselves to those in need, regardless of what they may do to us, although stewardship of where we live is part of this. The focus on what it will do or not do for us, is probably part of where we have a problem in the west. 

My Identity, His Grace - living in the present part 5

For large portions of my life, I struggled to live in the present and enjoy it, because life was hard to live, when I did not know why I was bullied, why I found school and learning so difficult. Years later when I went to F.E. college I was able to live in the moment and enjoy the time I spent there. The same was true for  going to University at Caerleon, near my Home, I was able to live in the present and focus on the here and now. In the years since college 18 years ago I have had periods where I have found it hard to live in the moment sometimes, because I have a high IQ and I tend to feel I am not using it. This can change how I feel about myself  and my identity. Holding down a job has been an issue for me, because of having Aspergers, Finding peace takes real effort, and living with the anxiety of everyday living, this has something to do with trust of other people, and nothing to do with my faith in Jesus to look after me, actually I think I would not go to big conferences or stand up to speak at meetings, without the trust I have in Jesus.
I trust Jesus to the utmost in my life, but the anxiety that is experienced by me, is not like the anxiety of depression, it is more to do with the fact that whatever helps other people cope with stress or difficulties, is missing in me, I would just be able to cope, mostly day to day, if the demand to achieve was at a level I could manage, but ask me to do more and I would loose my ability to function and I would panic, the result being flight from the source of  the need to achieve.
This was nothing to do with being lazy or not wanting to work, I just cannot do more than I am capable of, even with intelligence, which has nothing to do with it.
I think that my difficulty in living in the moment, unless I actively choose that in my mind, is why I have problems. Working life stretches out in front of me and made me panic, and the working day a smaller chunk of time,which  I could cope with, then became bigger, because I had to achieve more and it became part of the bigger chunk of my working life which made things harder and caused the panic. When I could achieve a day's work and it was manageable that was OK, but if I could not finish the work for that day, I would have to roll it over, and I could not cope with that.
My identity rests in Jesus regardless of whether I have autism or not, and my ability to have a  traditional 9 to 5 job, is not part of my identity. But I work campaigning for autism and I do creative projects that take time and effort.
I am not lazy I just have a different identity to the majority, and I hope that things will change, but for now I am living in the moment.  

My identity,His grace - growing into him part 4

My walk with Jesus from day one was always about him, and not me, although I found difficulty in expressing this many times over the years. I never wanted the Big Ministry, because I knew in the deepest place that this was not what it was about, also I had trouble putting this across.
I was needy and vulnerable, but I always wanted what God wanted in my life, and it pained me when people said things which indicated I was looking for something more. I have always had parts of my life where I was disabled, but because of intelligence and other things, that research has found out about us girls on the autism spectrum. We, not surprisingly, don't act the same as boys on the spectrum. So the result of my education was someone who struggled to please, felt uncared for, but melded into the back ground. Perhaps more so after giving my heart to Jesus.
Looking back at the tough times, I can see the grace that held me so gently, even when I did not recognise it.
2015 has been a difficult year, because of health and the ongoing process of deciding whether to go ahead with Chemo tablets for the blood problem I have.
But I have had the best experience of love from Papa God, this year, I feel tired so easily and life can easily get on top of me, if I don't choose to live in the moment.

My Identity is firmly rooted in Jesus and my heart beat is for him, success has bee in my life and the journey from second class to first class has been a long one, again with the grace of God evident. His love, is my love and his heart beat is my heart beat. I don't go out and preach to the world, but my heart beats and burns for the land, because Papa God's heart beats and burns for the land.

I will be 49 this year and I choose to live in the moment, to love what I have and enjoy what I have been given, as gifts and as the person God made me to be.

The lack of understanding, the fears, hopes, lost dreams to be fulfilled from the heart of God for me, no longer matter so much to me, as when the time is right these things will come to pass, because I know his love, because I have felt his love, so gentle and kind, so beautiful and tender. All the things I needed he has given me, he has drawn me into him. I see the world around me in a new way, with a compassion of God's heart. I don't know how I will do these things, but I know now that he will help me do them, because my identity is not of this reality, it is of another place. The place where love resides.  

22nd May leg bite and the journey

On Friday, 22nd May 2015, I said to mum that my leg was swollen again during our night time routine, but I was not bothered. Then half an hour later, I had my nightly shower, and found a big red rash as though I had been bitten by an insect, at the time I don't remember it, but time distance has left a vague memory of a pain like a bite. But I had only been down to the post office, down the road, earlier that day and had not been aware of anything happening.
So as this latest reaction to a bite continued I did all the things I always do, day and night antihistamines, anthisane and hydrocortisone creams until they weren't needed and it all was going OK and seemed to be recovering well. Then the night of  Sunday 21st June 2015 my leg started hurting really badly, I did not sleep well, and awoke early to talk to mum about it.

We went for an emergency GP appointment around 3-00pm on Monday, 22nd June 2015. GP was worried I may have a Deep vein thrombosis, as I have type 2 diabetes and a blood disease that makes too many red blood cells, which means I have a greater chance of a DVT.
The other choice was Cellulitis, an infection of the tissues that needs treatment with Antibiotics.
So the GP made a call and wrote a letter to the DVT clinic to get tested for presence of DVT, and we went to the hospital the next day on Tuesday, 23rd June 2015. The result of the blood DVT test  was negative for the presence of a DVT, and was I glad. So we went home and Mum went to get the antibiotics perscription needed to treat the cellulitis. At time of writting I have 1 and a half days left of a 7 day course of medication, and enforced rest with my leg resting to allow the treatment to work.

This 2015 situation was the 3rd serious bite reaction I have had in the last 4 years and it is not a nice experience. I find it a challenge on top of all the other challenges in my life, which may not always be apparent to those looking on. It was also made tougher because Mum accidentally injured the phashia (fleshy bony part in the sole of the foot about 8weeks ago) and has been struggling along with things, but as it was not getting better, she is seeking treatment now, for which I am really glad for her and for me.

As a girl with Asperger Syndrome I find aspects of my life quite hard on a daily basis, but the stress of coping with some thing that immobilises me and stops me in my tracks in such a way is often stressfull and can cause pain of a different kind. However, in the world as it is nowadays, I feel blessed that I have treatment and that I am now on the way to recovery.

My Identity, his grace - learning along the way part 3

I watched Charlotte Elmore on BBC 1 - Me and My new brain, about the accident which gave her the brain injury she is now living with on a daily basis. I found the whole programme interesting, as she experienced where it all happened in Switzerland, at the hospital after the accident 4 years ago.
then the psychological effects of the trauma and the recovery.
There were aspects I could relate to which I have lived with all my life, but she has had to adjust to after the accident. Like coping with social situations, light and noise, and the challenges of understanding what other people's emotions are in certain areas.
Things which I have difficulty with and always will.
My identity has changed or rather my veiw of my identity has changed over time, as along the journey of life I have had dyslexia diagnosed, then Aspergers (autism).
Other things have changed my Identity and the way I see my life, because of the negative parts of my past  which made me feel a certain way, but then changed with revelation of aspects of my life that were very positive.
My identity rests very much within the idea of autism and what I am able to do or not do, not that I choose to be disabled by autism, but that is the result/ effect of how my brain works and has always worked.
Healing is a difficult challenge because, who I am now aged 48, soon to be 49 is intimately intwined with autism and there are things about it I would be very happy to get rid of, but equally there are things about me and who I am which I would be sorry to loose. So it is not a simple choice healed or remain as I am.
I spent many sad and difficult years while growing up begging God to heal me, recognising I was different and not knowing why, feeling suicidal, feeling lost. Bullied by children who knew I was vulnerable, and struggling to function in the world. Feeling down trodden and a second class  failure for most of my education and quite a while into my adult life.
Walking with Jesus,learning about love, beginning  to find, my identity in him, while walking the journey, as I am with him, finding peace in the middle of the challenges I face every day, because of autism, I am accepted by heaven as I am and as I walk this path, trying to fight for justice for all people like me, who are made to function in heaven, as we are people who have not disconnected from heaven, that we life in another world, which may be heaven.
I am learning that this is probably the case, as if like me before we come to earth we decide to live as people with autism then, according to Ian Clayton teaching then does healing need to happen. I have experienced healing in the very fact I am writing this blog, that I am able to manage my money and I know the change I should be getting, I can tell the time, I can drive, I make cards and do paper craft and use a computer.

My Identity, His grace - His love in me part 2

On the 24th August 2015 I started a blog entry that was the start of my 30 days entries, as I join in with the (in)courage women bloggers of 30 days themed blog.
As a woman on the autism spectrum, love and what it means has been a huge issue for me, I knew the concept and I understood that Mum and Dad were supposed to love me and take care of me, but as for the feeling of love, the emotion and how I related to it, only changed about 4 or 5 years ago, when I was in a meeting and I actually felt the love of God, and knew what love was. I will be 49 in 2015, and I know his love in me, but I still struggle with how to show it sometimes, because I don't recognise the right or appropriate response to make in some situations. This means I stay quiet a lot, but my heart goes out to those who suffer. I feel compassion for the LBGT community, as I can see from their point of view what it is like to be condemned  for something they have not chosen to be, like I did not choose to be autistic, however this comparison does not go the whole way, as my position with autism did not mean I had no access to the family of God. I did feel the lack of acceptance of my needs as an individual. Only when I got a diagnosis of Autism aged 38, did I feel the acceptance of myself as I am, in myself, but still had situations where people could make me feel I was not accepted among them.
It is God's grace in my life, that has given me more than I realised even before I ever came to Jesus and accepted him as my saviour. Revelation and teaching has changed the way I see my past, although I still have the scars and the memories. For me Love changed everything, understanding what love is and what it does when you do, makes life harder in some ways because I am aware that I need to give out my love, but how do I pass this love on. This worried me for quite some time, but I eventually passed it over to Jesus and asked him to help me, because it would have been a struggle in my own strength and I would have burned  out again for the umteenth time in my life.
Experiencing love has in the most part enabled me to let go of the things that made me struggle. It has enabled me to go through the processes of finding peace with Jesus, finding out where I am supposed to be, and actually it is a process of dying to me and what I am and my identity becoming his identity. This was so painful in the past, and still is now, and maybe will be in the future.
But my heart is part of heaven, and heaven is part of me, so anything that God wants or desires, is not about me, it is about him being seen like a robe of light that envelopes me, and makes me his vessel to be seen by the world.

My identity, his grace - He made me and I am his part 1

It has taken me  all this time to understand the reading of the book about KK, the picture of me looking like her in the spirit. At least 30 years, maybe a little more. But today I got the message form a lady called Michele Perry.
I am standing in the grace and mantel of her life, but I do not have to be like her, not that I ever was, I wanted to be what I was created to be, always.
My identity is in heaven, it is in Jesus and in the heart of God, I did not want to be known as the big ministry, I wanted to be show Jesus be allowed to show Jesus in me, to be accepted and loved, not to be changed into what people wanted me to be.

This is my heart for the land to sing to the land and speak to the nations, to be all I was created to be and bring heaven to earth. This was always on my heart and it has never changed.

I want to fulfil my commission given to me at Wild Welsh Women Feb 2015, to sing to the land and speak to the nation  at Wild Welsh Women 2016.
I want to be who you called me to be, and stand up for heaven, not for me to be seen but for you Jesus to be seen in me.
To walk the ancient path you have given me to walk, but be me and be what you have called  me to be.

leaving the loneliness and a desire for friendship

I walk this world and I know I am not alone in terms of a connection to heaven and the Host of Heaven and also with my Saviour & friend Jesus. But I feel the physical loneliness and lack of companionship. I love Mum and I am glad I live with her, even though I am old enough to live on my own, but would struggle to do so with Asperger Syndrome, and the specific ways it affects me.
Mostly I am happy with my own company, and sometimes I find it hard, to deal with Mum as she gets older. I feel a greater loneliness because I have things wrong with me, that of themselves individually would not be that great an issue, but pile them all together, as I am having to deal with now.
Aspergers meant that I was always feeling anxious at just dealing with life, and has nothing to do with all the other things that have gone on in my life.
I realise that I have some responsibility with type 2 diabetes, regarding exercise and diet, but I was always limited in the amount and duration of exercise, because of osteocondritis in both knees. If I did the kind of exercise I would have needed to do to manage my weight, my knees were painful for maybe, days and sometimes weeks after.
This is not to say I was not active, because I was right through my childhood and teens. On so many levels I felt judged by people, who told me I needed to exercise, like as if I was stupid and did not already know that, but no one ever told my how to do that, when any exercise caused pain. For most of my life, in allot of areas of my life, my experience was of feeling in a catch 22. Not of my choosing or making.
Who would want to inflict pain on themselves, that interfered with already difficult sleep patterns, which I still find difficult even now aged 48. I am fortunate now that I can take glucosamine which means that my knees are allot better, day to day than they were when I was young but I still have to be careful about how and when I do exercise of any kind.
I also don't choose to be broken, to let my life be ruled by what is wrong with me, but the physical practicalities of living with a high red blood cell count and having to have blood taken every three months, and having to take medication for type 2 diabetes.
I just feel alone and uncared for, everyone is bothered about their own lives and doing their own thing and I am left to do my own thing, which in general terms is OK, but my feeling is that I am not important to anyone  other than Mum and what happens when she is not around any more.
I just want one friend whom I can talk to who is flesh and blood, but perhaps in this new era that is too much to ask.

Weather in June 2015

Today, as I write this blog on the 1st June 2015, I am wondering why it is so cold and there is a rain storm and it is expected to get worse over the next few hours.
Scientists try to explain the change in climate, blaming cars, which were designed & created by humans. They try and see patterns where there are none. Making up theories that don't measure up over time.
The planet we live on is affected in deeper ways. Yes, we have done stuff to the planet and we are continuing to plunder its resources.
People talk about renewable energy, like it is the answer to all our problems, but we haven't worked out a suitable method to store the energy made by turbines for use when needed, and a car that runs on air on the surface seems like a good idea, but might air become a finite resource, a precious one as the human race needs it to breathe and live.
As a child, I never thought I would see the day when a country/ state would run out of water, like California, USA is experiencing now, very scary as water is the stuff of life and it feeds us and nurtures us and half the world is struggling to find any.

THE ANSWER - is the world we live in right now is looking for the people who most resemble its creator and those who can draw heaven to earth, the lies and myths that the devil/evil has sown into the minds of man are what is destroying this planet, this place is so special. But God cares.
The world is walking headlong into destruction and suffering because so many go their own way and refuse to believe in a God of love and accept that love as truth, choosing to focus on the "I" and not the"We"

Restoration and rejuvenation of the spiritual, not invented by man but the living truth of heaven.

It is only truth that will set us free from the failing ecosystem we live in, not anything man can do, accept by working with the Creator of heaven and earth.

We want to be in charge and not relinquish this position, like a spoilt child, but that position in its proper place is held by God, which unless you believe, you continue to occupy and there in lies the problem, because that is SIN. Sin is what is damaging the world, little girls been trafficked, terror campaigns, abuse of any kind. Anything which is opposite to truthful, honest love and kindness is SIN.
Whether we have taken part in these things or not, we allowed things to happen and continue to allow others to do things that are cruel, then we have played a part and need to recognise this and repent(Turn away) from letting it continue and do something to stop it.
  

The tale of my Achiles tendon

3 years ago I had two insect bites on my left ankle, which caused my leg to swell and a rash that causes pain.
In the past I tore the ligaments in my left ankle which has caused pain from time to time over the years. The swelling around the Achilles tendon and the ankle ligaments caused pain and mobility issues. 2 years ago I had another bite, which was obvious as we saw the creature bite me. Again, I had the more red leg and rash painful, making life hard and mobility a real issue.
then I was having a conversation with my mum about 3 weeks ago where I said that my tendon was not hurting any more in general terms, although I still had to be careful about what and how I do things. Then only a few days later, on the 22nd May 2015, I noticed my leg was swollen, and when I later got into the shower and looked down I had a big red rash and it was very sore and tender. 8 days later after treatment with Hydro cortisone cream, day safe and night time  antihistamines, I now have the itch that comes with healing rash, but my foot  and ankle are still swollen, and although I am on the home strait, the Achilles tendon is now yet again beginning to hurt again.

 This has caused problems for me, the last few years because I can exercise even less than I used to, which has also been limited by my knees from birth. I put weight on really easily, but getting it off is an extreme challenge, that yet again has been postponed. before this last bite, I was planning to get back to driving again as my  Achilles tendon had recovered sufficiently that I felt able to do so, but I never got the chance. During the summer I take precautions before going out, I wear socks and use jungle juice insect repellent or a natural oil diluted in water, which has the same effect. But all this happened in the house as I had not been outside during that day. As a person I like being outside but this has created a scenario in my life which further limits the little freedom that I have, to do what I would like to do, or what God wants of me. I don't like this and feel angry that the struggle is still there and that I cannot get rid of this particular thing in my life.
This situation has nothing to do with negative thoughts or thinking the wrong way, as I was feeling very positive, happy and looking forward to the summer and being able to enjoy it fully  for the first time in 3 years.
Then on the 22nd  this changed, but I want to enjoy the summer anyhow, and I will make the effort to loose the weight as I need to because of type two diabetes. I want to find the answers and wisdom from heaven regarding this very nasty and upsetting aspect of my life. 

I count myself as a person of no reputation

I have never seen myself as a person of reputation, and I don't understand why people treat me as if I do. I have never looked for position, or thought myself to be better than anyone else, maybe even I have thought less of myself in terms of reputation or confidence. I have often found it hard to value myself, and feel worthy of other people's confidence in me.
The only reputation I have is the reputation that heaven has placed on me, the only reputation I fully desire is seeing people's lives changed through me.
My only desire was to see the fulfilment of my call, to see my future and step into it, for heaven to be seen in me.
I know nothing about what is ahead for me, as far as detail is concerned,but the only reputation I have is where God has placed me.
The battles against the darkness of suicidal feelings, the incessant and unremitting bullying, the escape to a place of security and rest both in the natural and the supernatural.
My life in the natural has taught me to count myself of no reputation, as my walk with Jesus has taught me I am worthy of his love, worthy of his kingdom, because of the blood he shed on the cross.

I know I am worthy of position under the covering of Jesus' reputation, and I have always felt in the lower place, but it is not always easy to demonstrate, because of the difficulties I have. I have realised why I struggled with the concept of the door in the floor, and taking the lower place because I am the one who was there in the lowest place, often feeling abandoned not in the home but outside.
I don't think I ever looked for reputation although there are some who feel that I do.
I want to be the person who loves Jesus and rests under his reputation.

I see heaven and I want to see it on earth, but I am not desiring fame or the high place, but the walk of Jesus along the ancient paths, to touch the land and change it, to touch the people and change them.

Hope, Dreams and living in the moment

My heart lives for Jesus Christ my friend, my comforter, the one who lights my world even when I feel sad or struggle at times, although the struggle is a lot, lot less now than it was.

I feel the beat of his heart and rhythym of life that is changing and growing with each day. The mystery of the kingdom, the reality of truth coming down from heaven via my heart connected to his. The joy of hope and dreams that are yet to come, but not far away.

My destiny in his hands, not in mine, his choice of what happens when, my obedience at the right time, a gift, a precious treasure to be revered and held lightly.

The dreams of his heart for me are treasures I don't understand, but I know that he cares for and loves me and his plan has a time to be full filled for me.

I can live in the moment more easily  because I travel with a light heart that does not require to know what is to come, but does what is now and tomorrow looks after itself, at least most of the time.

I feel Papa's heart for the nations, and sadness of the separation, from his children and teaching that made that happen. My heart, my being wants to walk with him closely and unreservedly with him day to day.

feeling what he feels, praying what he prays, speaking his words, changing the world little by little, moment by moment.

 Walking the world, walking the land and the waters, enabling the flow from heaven to become the flood of his glory that will change the world that I live in right now, to be Pure and Holy, justified by his grace, but valuing his grace for what it is, as a precious gift from his hand. The whisper of love and life that tells me I am free, really free to be everything he created me to be, regardless and in spite of everything that the natural world and circumstances tell me.  

I watched Kill the Christians recorded

Last night I watched a recorded documentary programme presented by Jane Corbin. I did not cry, but there was plenty to make that happen. I found myself feeling a kind a combination of angry/sadness that human beings for whatever reason can turn themselves so fully over to evil, that such great suffering is caused because of hate.
Hate is a horrid word, it sounds horrible and although I cannot say I have never felt hate as an emotion,it has never been the person I hated, but what they did to me or someone else. It is not the human being as a flesh and blood created being that I hate but the action, because it causes suffering.

As I watched the programme I saw people in situations that have been well reported, but which were not of their making as people who had lived in places and been Christian for generations in the Middle East.
small groups of the human race decide at points in history that they are going to commit genocide, just because of a difference in belief, one aspect that makes it impossible to allow the other to live or remain at peace. This happened 70 years ago, with the Nazi's killing the Jews, it happened in Yugoslavia, as was, in my own lifetime, and maybe it will happen again.

The world is so complex now, maybe it always was, and so many people are angry with deep hatred of Christianity, because we are different. But history has shown that our ancestors did so much that damaged the Middle East, through the crusades and choices that damaged Palestine. The recreation of Israel that was prophesied in the bible, so was destined to happen all along. Israel has not always managed things very well, but neither has Palestine.

My heart breaks for the sadness and suffering of all the nations around the world who are involved in some way with this situation that we have in the world, we are all suffering from the law of unforeseen consequences, not just of things done in modern times,but from things done by people, from right back in the land of myth and legend.

I walk the land  here in Wales and although I don't know the details of everything that has ever happened here, I feel the land, and I feel the life or the death of individual places and I know that this will be true of people in the Holy Valley of Lebanon and other people who walk the land Loving Jesus and feel the heart of what went on and deal with it. The truth is that Christianity has the power to change things and Islam is afraid because they listen to the evil part of their souls and what resides in them, so it is fear that fuels the evil fire in their hearts.
As we rise up in the opposite spirit of love and turning the other cheek and walking in Obedience to the voice of Papa God, being prepared to die! to ourselves to live or actually physical death if required this will be part of the change.

Finding the life I am destined to have

is the one I am living now but with a little more effort. This last 2 weeks of mum being ill then me being ill, feeling weak and shaky has made me think about my health yet again, and Auntie S with a big hole in her abdomen from an infection after hernia op and now clot in her arm.
I don't like hospitals and I don't want to put my self in the position of needing doctors and hospitals. I want to find health and fitness as much as I can, and be as motivated as I can to loose as much weight as I can so I can enjoy this life the way I am meant to.
It is a tough world out there and I want to make a difference to the world I live in, and  I always have, but it has not been at all easy to do this, because my body is not put together properly. Knees that hurt after a hardly any exercise and hurt for days after doing the bare minimum, makes weight loss all the harder. I need wisdom to know how to loose the weight  and keep it off.

Yes, I need to eat less, but how do I do that and not feel hungry or ill. I am upset because when I went on the medication and the first stone fell off I was hopeful that I would have lost more but it did not happen as Christmas came  and winter food. My body shut down as it does during winter and here I am now.
I hope this summer I can get rid of another stone and half and that I have the courage to go for it.

I want to be healthy and not diabetic any more, if that is possible for me to do, I am angry that I allowed myself to get caught in this way and that it happened in my late 40's.

Please, Please I need some help to overcome this body that you gave me.

The river changes flow in 2015

The title is a prophetic word I received at Pat and Tony John's on 30th December 2014. I did not know what it meant at the time but I am realising it has many meanings. We are expecting change at all times form now on. But some change is more felt. I sense as many others have that we are about to have Revelation beyond our imagining and things will never be the same.

The hopes and dreams of many people who love Jesus will be suddenly resurrected, after many years hidden away almost dead in deep places of their hearts. There will be an exploding of gifting that will be like nothing ever seen before, and change will take place faster and faster as the numbers of people find thier place in heaven and on the earth

There were ideas for many years about how we thought things would be with revival, but those things need to be forgotten in favour of something far bigger  and something we can only understand as Ambassadors of heaven. Revival is coming but not as we used to think or expect.

I believe that revival is going to drop on earth like rain, that the cloud walkers and the burning ones like us will argue in the courts of heaven for the rain of heaven to flow, via dreams, words of songs, blueprints and many other ways  and it is already happening. It will start with the Body of Christ, but people of other faiths and no faith will have dreams and visitations that they know they encountered heaven even though they don't understand it and may find it difficult

This is not just Britain but around the world, we as the body will be responsible for teaching all these people to disciple them, but we will not be the evangelists in the old sense.

There are going to be many people who love Jesus doing many exciting, amazing things ( re Kat Kerr feb 2015 podcast).Watch out things are moving.

The long road to recovery: feeling the bug

Why this title? well this is what it feels like today. two weeks ago I started  the aches and pains, which my mum also went through just before me, then I got the "cough" and I have spent the last 5 days coughing my insides out with no respite, unless medication taken. Then the headaches and exhaustion and the malaise of the struggle to cope with feelings ill for 2 weeks. Mum is into her 3rd week and still not fully recovered, and I, well I am feeling grumpy, although the coughing seems to have eased a little today, although just had a coughing fit just this minute, famous last words eh!!

I love spring as a season and Easter is precious to me because of what it means, but it has been hard this year because of this bug, I have added back the weight which I lost leading up to it. Weight control is a pain in my life, and trying to get the balance has been hard all my life. From the depths of my very being I want to conquer it and find the right ratio of eating to exercise, that will work for me. If I can achieve that then I will be happier about myself and my life.

Feeling Grumpy is horrid and I don't like it, as I am generally a happy person, or at least I try to be. Life has its trials for all people at one level or another, so I am not saying I am any different, a part from the fact that I live with my mum and I don't have a job, but I work hard at my craft, but I rarely have anyone visit or any close friends who spend time with me, so I feel even more lonely during times like this. If mum is really poorly as she was a couple of years ago or last year. I felt totally alone and needed to email someone just so I didn't feel alone.

Friendship and community have become a greater issue with me, based on the fact that people I may need for help are too far away, should travel become impossible for some reason, and I am feeling this quite deeply in my life right now. As Mum gets older, I want to believe that things will not go the expected way.
But as things stand, right now, all I have on this planet is mum to help me. Yes, my brother is there, but he is not the same and would not see the world the way I do, even though I love him and value him. My desires in the Kingdom would not be taken into consideration. I can understand why people move into community living.

Plane crashes and one person's actions

Aeroplanes crashing, disappearing nobody knows where, then just in the last few days over a hundred people were it seems killed by a pilot in an act of mass murder.
My heart goes out to the hundreds of people who have been affected in one way ore another, whether close to those who died or had responsibility for some aspect of safety, looking at the pilot. There may be blame to place at another time.
But now is the sadness and the anger that one young man had the opportunity to take a plane and it's passengers who trusted him to take the best care possible of them, has betrayed that trust in such a tragic and grotesque way.
I know the relatives need to know why? but I am not sure there will ever be a satisfactory answer to that why? because he did it and he succeeded. How he planned it, why he even thought it in the first place is not a healthy mind, and I will leave it at that, because I don't understand, therefore I cannot come to a conclusion.
I pray for all those whose lives have been changed, and will never be the same again because a 28 year old man decided to do this thing.

The effect of one person's actions has changed the lives of those close to it, and the rest of us. We already knew that people could hijack a plane and use it as a missile flown into a tower, but the person charged with that responsibility although it has happened before, we don't look for or expect it, but now we will.

Things have changed things are not the same for any person flying will have to consider the risk that this could happen again, but flying is always at risk from the unexpected. I personally, have no physical connection to this happening but the compassion I feel runs deep for the people involved.

Hope and love - walking with Jesus

I want to declare to the world that I don't care what anyone else thinks about my journey through life, as I walk my life with Jesus. I not doing harm to anyone or hurting anyone, except maybe myself. I have struggled to do the right thing all my life. I have suffered at the hands of others.
I know Jesus loves me and I love him, so much, no one  knows how much, because I survived and I did my best to be known in heaven, because I am not easily going to be known on earth, because of all the things I find difficult. anything I do achieve here will be because of Jesus and his strength in my life.
I am fed up of the struggle to please and do the right thing, to seem to desire to be a part of something people obviously don't want of me.
I am who I am, I am how God made me, the struggle to find the Jesus in me has been difficult, and painful, at times. but Heaven and Jesus have always been there, and I know heaven is always there, now because I feel it all the time.
I think looking back people thought I was promoting myself, because I was not very good at presenting what I felt the Holy Spirit was saying, but I had dreams and Hopes, that so often became disappointments for these reasons.
I have a type of autism, but because I function well, and behave "normally", allowances are not made, and when I have blow outs as I do sometimes. People look down on me, or that is how it feels.
I spent many hours of my life wanting healing, begging to be like other people, but I found these prayers unanswered until a few years ago, I realised that God loved me as I was and other people had the problem if they felt I needed healing, as this was up to God to do or not to do.
I may be stubborn in areas of my life and seem that I am not doing the things other people want me to do, but this stoical, stubbornness is one of the reasons I am still here, still living my life.
If there are people out there who have a problem with me, then it is their problem, because the anxiety of dealing with that knowledge, has caused me enough pain throughout my life.
People who go through difficulties because they are not accepted for what they are doing in life, have it easier, because it is what they are doing, but for me what people say, how they relate to me on a daily basis, throughout my life, was and is to do with the person I am. The feeling of rejection by other has been a real issue over the years, because I don't always understand the situation or the response I get from certain people in some situations. I try to believe the best of people who do this, but sometimes, this gets really difficult, and I have to work hard with my friend Jesus to overcome these things, without causing problems for the other person. I try to walk my life as a servant, even though I find it hard to act as one at times, because of the autistic difficulties I have. Sometimes I desire compassion and to feel loved when I am finding things difficult.

This is bigger than any one country and not about religion pt 1

In the course of all the happenings over the last few weeks, I can see the side of the Je suis Charlie, but freedom of speech, is not a freedom to be misused and whilst we do not want to let the terrorists have the upper hand, satire and poking fun in a dark way at those different from us, although viewed as sofisticated and of our time, has added to the ongoing situation and the absolute hatred that is displayed by these people.

Satirical journalism does encourage society to veiw satire as a valid form of expression, that being unkind to another group we don't understand or think is stupid for their beliefs, because actually the groups of people whom the "fun" is poked at are the very people who have become either disinfanchised  by history and by the frailties of humanity and the decisions we make as individuals and as society in general.
It could be argued that satirical journalism, actually stops true freedom of speech because the people that needed  thier voice to be heard, even back over the centuries, have had their voices quitened and thier anger arroused.

Of course this is much more complex, than I am suggesting, and the people who are going down the path they are going, because they hate the western world and all that they think it stands for. The hatred of Israel, America and U.K.

Truthful freedom of speech should not be being unkind to any group, whether of different beliefs or of none and could be argued that satire is an excuse to be nasty and that makes those who do it, and enjoy it of questionable morals in the world we now live in.

Je suis Charlie, unity and solidarity

I am British and I have only passed through France via Calais once in my life. Today after the sieges and deaths of hostages, The people have spoken by their joining together, poiltians and leaders of faiths saying Liberte and unity.

When Charlie Hebdo was attached and people killed I felt like satire and the use of freedom of speech in that way was not a valid use of that freedom, but I have realised that freedom of speech is that freedom and while as a person I would not choose to read or take part in satire for several reasons. I realise that regardless of the form of freedom of speech, no one has the  right  try and prevent this through fear tactics and terror.

I stand in unity with my French brothers and sisters. I pray for the peace and love to remain giving hope for the future.
Translation into French
JE SUIS en unité avec mon français frères et soeurs. Je prie pour la paix et l'amour pour rester en redonnant de l'espoir pour l'avenir.

I am standing with France and the French to say along with them that what happened is wrong and it is sad on all levels that firstly people feel that they need to do these things, and secondly that they do them.

But a muslim man save the lives of people in the kosher supermarket he was working in and a muslim policeman was shot/executed.
I remember that 17 people died, killed by people who were out to gain martyrdom, which depending on beliefs and faith can be viewed in many ways.

But personally I veiw the whole thing as a tragedy for those killed by the terrorists, and a tragedy that there are terroists in the first place, but also a landmark week and today especially a landmark because millions of ordinary people have said and reacted in the opposite fashion, with unity and love.

Je suis Anglaise, Je suis Charlie, Je suis Christian

2015 and feeling better

My aim this year is to write more often in this space and make it a goal to be achieved.
I managed to make it 32 entries in 2014, beating the 31 of my first year 2009.
I think at least 5 a month is a satisfactory goal  and would double my output.
I also think that it would help me be more present in everyday life to actually focus on what life is and what I am doing.
This year is going to be interesting spiritually, and in the natural, as I will be part of getting and campaigning for an Autism Act for Wales, something which is sorely needed in this country. It is my heart cry for Justice for all who have autism. I believe that if Wales looks after its most vulnerable, that blessing and favour will flow. If they do not then only God knows what that will mean.

2015 at its outset promises a different kind of year and I feel the unseen realm is closer to me than ever before and the heart for justice is like a fire in my belly, which I can feel getting stronger. The desire to walk the unknown path is growing in me and I have a feeling that this is the beginning of something for bigger for me.