I feel change afoot again in 2014

I am not sure what change is coming, or how it will work out, but I am certain that it will be noticable not just for those in the body of Christ, but for other people at large.
Indeed since Curiosity landed on Mars, and even the fact that it landed on Mars, that there will be something seen that will change our view of what may be out there.
Now China has sent a probe to the moon, I wonder what will come of that.
As Human beings see the world in a certain way  and some veiw our world through measuring devices. Anything that cannot be measured or understood by science or intellect, many times has no value or does not exist,but as part of the Kingdom I know that things are not always how they seem. Truth is not always measured or proved by science.But Observation and pictures, may show something, but also if the science community did have something out of the ordinary happen which could not be explained would they tell us. Probably not so it is down to those of us who understand ask for knowledge from the only one who knows.
Change is always with us, but somethings will change our world radically.

11/11/13 My Auntie Heather Died

Monday 11th November 2013 my Auntie Heather died. She was a lovely person, she was special. Yes she is in heaven, I imagine My Dad meeting his sister, her seeing Sassy, Barney, fred and all the other family who are there. She is gone and I missed the chance of travel.But she is well and painfree now.
Auntie Marian is now alone apart from the young family left murray and family and Mum and I. There is other family I don't know and have never met and will never know this side of heaven. In many ways the connection has been thin and difficult over the years, for many reasons to long to go into here, and so I am sad and I will be sad for all that was missed out on or lost, and try to do the future better. Life is people, family and who we are not what we do. I will miss Heather and feel sad that she died at 65 of rampant Myoloma that ravaged her body and killed her.

Love Jesus and want to walk with Him

There is so much I do not understand about the Kingdom of Heaven or about the protocols, but one thing I do know is that I love Jesus and want to serve him, I want to walk his paths, feel the beat of his heart for the land. I want to encounter my Papa God, and do the things that he said we would do.
I am here for such a time as this, I am here to be everything that I was made to be, before I was a twinkle in the eye of my parents.
A friend said a few days ago what his dad said to him that the journey with Jesus, is really serious but there is alot of Joy, and this is true. I have struggled through my life and had much to contend with, but I have found joy at times when it was least likely.
 So I know that as I walk the paths with Jesus, he will love me, he will carry me when I need it, but also I have to grow up and take responsibility for the life I have and for the things I do or don't do as Jesus and the Holy Spirit says.
Things are changing, things that used to happen are being revealed, because they should never have happened. I am part of that change, so I have to change with Papa's help.

Walk the Land
Walk the Land with Love
As my heart beats with his
Walk the land with Love
As His Joy my life redeems
Walk the Land with Love
As I see what is to come
Walk the land with Love
The redemption has begun
Walk the Land with Love
My Papa, My Father in Heaven

Walk the land with Hope
Walk the Land with Joy
Messages of Wisdom
For those who are far away.

Why is there an issue with self promotion? and what is Papa God's solution /idea about this?

Several times over the years people have rejected or told me not to self promote. I admit less in recent times. But I struggled with these comments because as the blog sphere has risen, so has the idea in my head that hundreds/ millions of people are promoting themselves with opinions and ideas. Hundreds of Christian have written books with their pictures on them, even when writting about my friend Jesus. Is that self promotion?
You see as a person with Aspergers(ASD) I find it really hard to self promote, I used to really struggle at interviews, talking one to one making eye contact was really uncomfortable for me, but I managed it somehow.
But I still have an issue with what self promotion actually means, because I never in my whole life felt, I successfully showed who I really am, to anyone who did not already know me.
My heart was to promote Jesus and what he was doing in my life then and what he is doing now.
Self promotion requires that a person can stand up for themselves and fight for something adequately, and yet I cannot do that if I am really honest.
How am I to achieve the dreams that Papa placed in my heart. I have dreams but sometimes they have be squashed or made less by others, but I have relentlessly hung onto them until Papa said let them go.
I would go with what I felt was Papa's heart at the time, and never want me,I,myself to be the focus. It was always Jesus and I never ever understood what people were on about when they said this and they never explained or tried to give me any direction.
So What is Self Promotion? Can anyone tell me.

Walking in heaven while walking on earth pt 1

It is 4 years since Ian Clayton came to Wales and I had new vocabulary for things I experinced years ago. Dreams in sleep that felt so real, so vivid. Jesus has been very gentle with me as I find my way along a new journey.
Covering the years with the blood of Jesus, 3 excursions to wisdom's house, all of which changed me, and how I saw Jesus.
Other things which had a more personal effect which I don't want to write about here.
I got bitten by an insect 2 days ago and my leg was prayed for yesterday at P&Ts but today it is swollen and painful still.
2 years ago I had 2 bites on my ankle which reacted badly and caused tendonitis, which progressed to tendinosis. Had three visits to Physio for exercises etc which I have been doing and the tendon was feeling a little better. Then I got bitten after spraying myself with insect repellant which did not work.
But things have changed, this are happening and when I recover from this I hope that life will be what God wants of me and not just the rubbish of enemy activity  around this leg and ankle.Praise God

Loving Jesus and everything awesome pt 2

The connection to heaven is like a string that I choose to tug on each day, mostly by praying in tongues, but sometimes in other ways. I realise that most of my life has been a mystical one connected to my saviour, doing things, experiencing things I did not understand or have the vocabulary for. Dreams and experiences while sleeping, which I would not remember until now. Locked away for the time to be right, for me to realise that I am someone different than I understood myself to be, just because Jesus died. The awesomeness of what is rising up in me because of Jesus, because of what is in me before I was born. The life that heaven put in me is gradually being revealed.
What I have is Jesus? everything I have he has given me, and I am grateful.
His love,His Joy, His peace. Feeling the rythym of heaven growing inside me expanding growing till I am consumed by him. Dreams of what I wanted to do, replaced by the dreams he placed in me years ago which I did not understand.

Loving Jesus and all that is awesome.

I have come to my blogspot to write about Love. Over the last 2 or 3 months something in me has changed. I am not exactly sure as to when it changed, but I know it has.On 4th May 2013 I did one of the things that Ian Clayton recommended. Not his way but by the leading of the Holy Spirit, and I feel different, definitely different.
I feel love for Jesus like I never felt love before, and because I love him, and feel him every moment, I am beginning to feel the land and be touched by things to do with the land and with creation. Because I am touched by Jesus, because I know my spirit is seated with Jesus, I know that I am called to Loving the land to health with Jesus help.
A number of years ago I had a picture of a big magnet connected to the earth by a thick strong rope drawing heaven to earth. Many things have happened to me in the form of experinces, but they were never about me, they were about Jesus, about heaven gently and everso determinedly drawing me towards the time when I was so connected to Jesus nothing else mattered. It has been difficult journey letting go of Hopes and dreams. Pictures from the past I struggled to hold on to only for them to be taken not by force but because I had to, because I would not have survived otherwise.
As I sit here tonight writing I am realising, becoming  more aware of the gentleness of Jesus in my life, the tenderness which I have encountered and not always understood. My intermacy with Jesus is lived out in the everyday, praying in tongues, holding the beating heart of Jesus precious all the time saying I love you without the need for music or going to a place to find him. These are the things which I have grown into over the years, but these things have changed, I am with Jesus every minute, as life is lived the way I live. I choose not to have holidays abroad, because of the effort and need of a companion, although I would love to travel,I choose to create for others things which are beautiful, I buy so I can make. I choose a different life from the majority,because I love Jesus, but also because I have an ASD (see other entries for meaning). My life is awesome because of Jesus, even though I would want some things differently from how they are, but in general I am living to change the world for others like me, with Jesus help. I can say in many ways my life could be awesome or at least have the potential to be.

New times, New days

I found Jesus at 13years old and I have walked with him ever since, whatever happens, whatever comes my way, in the days ahead I know that my friend will be there with me. Heaven is an amazing place, and things are changing.

For one thing I am now content with being me, but looking to becoming the person that God made me to be when I was twinkle in his eye at the beginning of time. Because there is no time in heaven. It is outside time and space, so things that happened here thousands of years ago are as close to what happened yesterday or today or will happen tomorrow.

Centuries long gone for us, are like rain which fell yesterday. I first began to hear this and understand  what was really true about the word.

I have expereinced this personally when people do things like salute at football matches, in the same fashion, as the Nazi's did to Hitler. I sense the spiritual atmosphere watching B&W news reels from the time, and found myself feeling the same atmosphere, in present day a few years ago. This is not time bending , as past repeating. Time travel is a faximilie of heaven, because as renewed, changed, children of heaven, time travel is open to us, to go up to heaven, then back and forth moving  to help others, and fulfill our destiny.

I have just had a short season of not much happening, which ended yesterday, but that is OK, because I am getting ready for the next stage. Only God knows what is coming next, so I leave it in his hands & look forward to more of Jesus & more of heaven, Angels as well as dreams fulfilled.

Things I know about myself

I know that I am on a journey without a destination, but I feel the need to be someone who is walking into her destiny, which is a destination of sorts. I have found the last few months difficult and at times confusing,as well as times of blessing.
As a person with Aspergers Syndrome, I am now having the experience of getting my new claim in and the fact that I am faced yet again with the feelings I went through 8 years ago (Not my choice to go on benefits/ Job centre could not find a job for me.
I know I am valuable and loved by Jesus and other people around me.

My value is not in success or big acheivements although I have those things in my life, such as going to further education college and university. My value is in the way I see the world and how I value the rights of other people in my position and how we need help to achieve things we cannot do on our own.

I have felt down about my position, and the way life is for me and how I feel unable to change these things about my life on my own. But I don't have to change my life, I have to make the best of it. Something I realised going to the Disability Advice Project in Cwmbran. Some of the things the caseworker said really hit home with me, and made me think in a new way about my life and how I deal with things.

I am glad for thier help and know that God has everything in hand, so I just have to walk with Jesus closely and find a new place of peace and faith, so I can walk gently with my friend day to day

The Way and Me Part 2

I would like to travel , but to find the courage to do this has been more than I was able to get to on my own. It is not fear or lack of Character, it is more that I donot recognise in myself the ability to be safe on my own. The wisdom of a life spent in relative isolation from friendship or close relationships outside family and more recently friends from Church.

I would love to go places and see things, to go with someone close who would enjoy the same things as me. But I don't go anywhere to meet anyone, or have the chance of travel.At 46 years of age, I am still untravelled, have things undone that I had hoped to do years ago, but did not feel capable of doing alone.

I have alot but I think maybe I am weighed down by belongings, clothes, accessories, but If I were to travel this planet that I share and live on with billions of others I want to share it with someone special. But how to find that special one, even if he exists. WHAT IS GOD'S PLAN FOR MY LIFE,IN THE HERE AND NOW ? his plan for my future. 

The Way - people's need to find thier way Part 1

I finally got to see the Film - The Way - Martin Sheen and Emilio Estevez. I did not know what to expect from it, but I saw something interesting. Four people who decided to do the Camino pilgrimage for four different reasons they voiced, but had other reasons they did not voice.
The main one Martin Sheen's character, doing it in place of his son who dies doing it on the first day.
In essence finding his son in death, and all that that entailed, then in completeing that finding a new life of travel. He did not know himself, and gave his son a difficult time in life because of that,but when he lost him, realising what he had lost. What was his life from the point of his son's death was to remember that this was his lot.

Jesus died for our life to be lived happily and with abundant love and Joy the hope of his grace, the hope of his mercy worked out through each person's life. All the human race is on a way, for some not of their choosing, for others definitely of their choosing, but all made to be loved and cared for, as they would hope to be loved and cared for on that path by all they meet. We all need to feel that we belong, and life is interesting at some level and worth all the effort we put into living or surviving. This is the story of the film - The Way.