The garden is beginning to grow. This year things are under control, probably for the first time in 10 years. I mentioned in an earlier entry that I graduated from University in 1998, and a year later my Dad died of a Brian Tumour. I think it has taken all this time for me to reach a place where I feel like I did before that happened. When he was gone the protection he provided me, was gone and I was exposed to the world. Mum was coping with loosing dad, and what that meant for her, for us both was a tremendous adjustment. Dad had helped me with my computer and knew alot more about computer than we do.
I remember one of the lecturers on my course complimenting one of my essays and said I should go and study to phd level. It was a nice compliment, but it took all the time I had to just maintain doing the first degree, and as things stood in late 1999, I could not have continued anyhow.
There were other job failures, which were the failures of people employing me being unkind and maybe even neglegient. I always tried so hard to do the right thing and be a good employee, but stresses were always there because people did not listen, and they messed me around.
One of the "helpful"gentlemen at the Job centre in Newport, said I did not really want to work and that he could not help me(given in stronger terms). It hurt at the time, because I knew that I did want to work but there was no point in doing jobs where I was set up to fail and the very great distress which that caused me. Being put in positions where I could not cope, because I was asked to achieve tasks in a certain time and take verbal instructions. Unless you have been through these things and have my kind of Aspergers Syndrome, you will never understand what these things are like. It is Ok for the people dealing with me at one point in time but the consequences of thier attitudes and comments last alot longer in the mind and it is hard to forget the feelings you are left with, even if you are not thinking about the actual events.
Tuesday, 28 April 2009
Monday, 27 April 2009
writing and education
I did not do an entry yesterday, because I needed a break from writing.
It takes a hugh effort for me to organise the arrangement of words on a page. I wouldn't say I am a brilliant writer, but considering that school was all but useless to me, and most of what I now know about words and the written page was learnt long after leaving school. Especially as I was virtually ignored and regarded as stupid by some of the teachers.
All the experiences of my school days, left thier mark and although I see myself very differently now. The past makes me feel passionate about the need for an education that is geared to the needs of the individual/child.
When I left school in 1984 I had one O'level and five CSE's, but I was fortunate to have the chance to gain an education at Further Education and later on at University. I remember someone saying what was the difference between F.E. and H.E, well if your like me, then there is a great deal of difference. F.E I could manage on my own, but H.E required a bit more support from family.
Looking back,I could have done with a little more support from the University,but it was before diagnosis, and it was really hard work, and was the sole focus of my life for four years.
Going to Uni was my way of dispelling the false labels that were given to me throughout my childhood and school.
I dreamed of going to university and was really glad when I managed to go. The whole experience was a big deal for me and one I will relish and feel grateful that I did it for the rest of my life.
But there are things I still want to achieve such as writing a book about my life and the arrival via a long journey toward diagnosis and the negatives of all that, as well as the few positives,
of living in world that does not acknowledge the needs you have.
It takes a hugh effort for me to organise the arrangement of words on a page. I wouldn't say I am a brilliant writer, but considering that school was all but useless to me, and most of what I now know about words and the written page was learnt long after leaving school. Especially as I was virtually ignored and regarded as stupid by some of the teachers.
All the experiences of my school days, left thier mark and although I see myself very differently now. The past makes me feel passionate about the need for an education that is geared to the needs of the individual/child.
When I left school in 1984 I had one O'level and five CSE's, but I was fortunate to have the chance to gain an education at Further Education and later on at University. I remember someone saying what was the difference between F.E. and H.E, well if your like me, then there is a great deal of difference. F.E I could manage on my own, but H.E required a bit more support from family.
Looking back,I could have done with a little more support from the University,but it was before diagnosis, and it was really hard work, and was the sole focus of my life for four years.
Going to Uni was my way of dispelling the false labels that were given to me throughout my childhood and school.
I dreamed of going to university and was really glad when I managed to go. The whole experience was a big deal for me and one I will relish and feel grateful that I did it for the rest of my life.
But there are things I still want to achieve such as writing a book about my life and the arrival via a long journey toward diagnosis and the negatives of all that, as well as the few positives,
of living in world that does not acknowledge the needs you have.
Saturday, 25 April 2009
Hi there,
I know someone who also has A.S, and is going through an horrendously emotional time over a work situation which means she does not have a job now . I don't know anything about the truth of what really went on, but I can see it is really hard for her.
It is for people like that I want to highlight the issues that people with Aspergers Syndrome experience. Every person with A.S is different from the next. But things like late diagnosis and isolation, and help with daily living, are all issues faced by many with A.S. There are greater needs for some, and lesser needs for others.
I have many reasons for doing this blog, some personal and to do with my need to have a voice and let other people know what it is like to live with A.S.
It is hard to describe what it is like to live with A.S, but it often feels like I am in a bubble with a very thick skin and I am trying to get out. This happens with communication, where people misunderstand or interpret what you said with the worst meaning possible, when actually the only meaning was a literal one and there were no hidden messages(Life is too short for all that!!?)
At the age of 42 I have had alot of life experience both negative and positive.
Alot of the negative input has come from people who never asked or listened or gave me a voice in life, some of this was in the family(Things are better now). Indeed my parents thought I did not listen to what they wanted me to do day to day. They did not realise I had disability.
One thing I want to make very clear is that A.S is NOT a disability of intelligence, as many will have average to high I.Qs. We may be capable of many things outside of the group/team player context in work or any other part of life.
I did my degree at University of Wales,Newport(Formerly UWCN) graduating in 1998. This was achieved prior to diagnosis of A.S and I managed with some help and support from Family
Of course things are never trully simple when A.S is in the equation, because you are never completing on a level playing field. I may have gone on to do futher study, but never felt able to as the following year things all changed for me.
I know someone who also has A.S, and is going through an horrendously emotional time over a work situation which means she does not have a job now . I don't know anything about the truth of what really went on, but I can see it is really hard for her.
It is for people like that I want to highlight the issues that people with Aspergers Syndrome experience. Every person with A.S is different from the next. But things like late diagnosis and isolation, and help with daily living, are all issues faced by many with A.S. There are greater needs for some, and lesser needs for others.
I have many reasons for doing this blog, some personal and to do with my need to have a voice and let other people know what it is like to live with A.S.
It is hard to describe what it is like to live with A.S, but it often feels like I am in a bubble with a very thick skin and I am trying to get out. This happens with communication, where people misunderstand or interpret what you said with the worst meaning possible, when actually the only meaning was a literal one and there were no hidden messages(Life is too short for all that!!?)
At the age of 42 I have had alot of life experience both negative and positive.
Alot of the negative input has come from people who never asked or listened or gave me a voice in life, some of this was in the family(Things are better now). Indeed my parents thought I did not listen to what they wanted me to do day to day. They did not realise I had disability.
One thing I want to make very clear is that A.S is NOT a disability of intelligence, as many will have average to high I.Qs. We may be capable of many things outside of the group/team player context in work or any other part of life.
I did my degree at University of Wales,Newport(Formerly UWCN) graduating in 1998. This was achieved prior to diagnosis of A.S and I managed with some help and support from Family
Of course things are never trully simple when A.S is in the equation, because you are never completing on a level playing field. I may have gone on to do futher study, but never felt able to as the following year things all changed for me.
Friday, 24 April 2009
Hi There, here I am again.
Who am I? I am a unpublished writer and a self-published Poet.
As someone who is creative and likes to make things with my hands like hand made greeting cards and with my mind writing and creating pictures with poetry.
Yes, I enjoy writing even though I have dyslexia, my form of Dyslexia is more to do with numbers (dyscalculia)and short term memory difficulties.
While walking my dog today on the field near my home. The field was full of yellow dandylions.
It was so beautiful
Who am I? I am a unpublished writer and a self-published Poet.
As someone who is creative and likes to make things with my hands like hand made greeting cards and with my mind writing and creating pictures with poetry.
Yes, I enjoy writing even though I have dyslexia, my form of Dyslexia is more to do with numbers (dyscalculia)and short term memory difficulties.
While walking my dog today on the field near my home. The field was full of yellow dandylions.
It was so beautiful
The Dandylion Field
Yellow blooms, a pretty sight
Flying out before my eyes
Hues of spring green
Hues of yellow
Bright Images of nature.
Humble blooms, not given much worth
A weed and a pest
Sometimes viewed by the best.
Ordinary blooms like ordinary people
Have thier worth.
People like me on the Autism Spectrum
Find Society giving a subconcious ultimatum
Be like all the other dandylions in the Field
Or we'll dismiss you and we won't yield.
Like the Dandylions we are cut to size
Respect is lost and our voice's quietened
But like the Dandylion shouts its worth
We have a voice and we have worth.
Creative ways need to be found
Enabling us to be on level ground
We need to be heard and people need to listen
So our talents can shine and glisten.
So one day we find, that for our kind
The BARRIERS are BROKEN.
By Karen Thompson
Thursday, 23 April 2009
About my life
Well here I am on my own blog spot at 12.20 am on the 24th April 2009.
Is anyone interested?
I have Aspergers Syndrome diagnosed at the age of 38 and Dyslexia diagnosed aged 22.
Because I was diagnosed later on in my life, I am a passionate campaigner for the needs of people like me on the Autism Spectrum.
A professional person once said to me that I did not need to search for labels, that I was perfectly OK, talking to him, but he did not understand that I had a list of labels as long as my arm and I needed the diagnosis in 2005.
This blog is an oppotunity to get out there with who I am and what I feel about the world I live in
Is anyone interested?
I have Aspergers Syndrome diagnosed at the age of 38 and Dyslexia diagnosed aged 22.
Because I was diagnosed later on in my life, I am a passionate campaigner for the needs of people like me on the Autism Spectrum.
A professional person once said to me that I did not need to search for labels, that I was perfectly OK, talking to him, but he did not understand that I had a list of labels as long as my arm and I needed the diagnosis in 2005.
This blog is an oppotunity to get out there with who I am and what I feel about the world I live in
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