I want to declare to the world that I don't care what anyone else thinks about my journey through life, as I walk my life with Jesus. I not doing harm to anyone or hurting anyone, except maybe myself. I have struggled to do the right thing all my life. I have suffered at the hands of others.
I know Jesus loves me and I love him, so much, no one knows how much, because I survived and I did my best to be known in heaven, because I am not easily going to be known on earth, because of all the things I find difficult. anything I do achieve here will be because of Jesus and his strength in my life.
I am fed up of the struggle to please and do the right thing, to seem to desire to be a part of something people obviously don't want of me.
I am who I am, I am how God made me, the struggle to find the Jesus in me has been difficult, and painful, at times. but Heaven and Jesus have always been there, and I know heaven is always there, now because I feel it all the time.
I think looking back people thought I was promoting myself, because I was not very good at presenting what I felt the Holy Spirit was saying, but I had dreams and Hopes, that so often became disappointments for these reasons.
I have a type of autism, but because I function well, and behave "normally", allowances are not made, and when I have blow outs as I do sometimes. People look down on me, or that is how it feels.
I spent many hours of my life wanting healing, begging to be like other people, but I found these prayers unanswered until a few years ago, I realised that God loved me as I was and other people had the problem if they felt I needed healing, as this was up to God to do or not to do.
I may be stubborn in areas of my life and seem that I am not doing the things other people want me to do, but this stoical, stubbornness is one of the reasons I am still here, still living my life.
If there are people out there who have a problem with me, then it is their problem, because the anxiety of dealing with that knowledge, has caused me enough pain throughout my life.
People who go through difficulties because they are not accepted for what they are doing in life, have it easier, because it is what they are doing, but for me what people say, how they relate to me on a daily basis, throughout my life, was and is to do with the person I am. The feeling of rejection by other has been a real issue over the years, because I don't always understand the situation or the response I get from certain people in some situations. I try to believe the best of people who do this, but sometimes, this gets really difficult, and I have to work hard with my friend Jesus to overcome these things, without causing problems for the other person. I try to walk my life as a servant, even though I find it hard to act as one at times, because of the autistic difficulties I have. Sometimes I desire compassion and to feel loved when I am finding things difficult.
I know Jesus loves me and I love him, so much, no one knows how much, because I survived and I did my best to be known in heaven, because I am not easily going to be known on earth, because of all the things I find difficult. anything I do achieve here will be because of Jesus and his strength in my life.
I am fed up of the struggle to please and do the right thing, to seem to desire to be a part of something people obviously don't want of me.
I am who I am, I am how God made me, the struggle to find the Jesus in me has been difficult, and painful, at times. but Heaven and Jesus have always been there, and I know heaven is always there, now because I feel it all the time.
I think looking back people thought I was promoting myself, because I was not very good at presenting what I felt the Holy Spirit was saying, but I had dreams and Hopes, that so often became disappointments for these reasons.
I have a type of autism, but because I function well, and behave "normally", allowances are not made, and when I have blow outs as I do sometimes. People look down on me, or that is how it feels.
I spent many hours of my life wanting healing, begging to be like other people, but I found these prayers unanswered until a few years ago, I realised that God loved me as I was and other people had the problem if they felt I needed healing, as this was up to God to do or not to do.
I may be stubborn in areas of my life and seem that I am not doing the things other people want me to do, but this stoical, stubbornness is one of the reasons I am still here, still living my life.
If there are people out there who have a problem with me, then it is their problem, because the anxiety of dealing with that knowledge, has caused me enough pain throughout my life.
People who go through difficulties because they are not accepted for what they are doing in life, have it easier, because it is what they are doing, but for me what people say, how they relate to me on a daily basis, throughout my life, was and is to do with the person I am. The feeling of rejection by other has been a real issue over the years, because I don't always understand the situation or the response I get from certain people in some situations. I try to believe the best of people who do this, but sometimes, this gets really difficult, and I have to work hard with my friend Jesus to overcome these things, without causing problems for the other person. I try to walk my life as a servant, even though I find it hard to act as one at times, because of the autistic difficulties I have. Sometimes I desire compassion and to feel loved when I am finding things difficult.
No comments:
Post a Comment