The last ten years have been the safest I felt in a church fellowship setting, and on lots of levels I found my place and was happy, even though I rarely if ever met anyone outside of the few meetings that happened at GG. Then Just before Christmas, we were told that this structure had gone, that the relationship would continue, as and when organised by others.
As a person on the autism spectrum, I have struggled to make lasting friendships, and the ones I did have circumstances or change of heart on the part of people meant they ended. For the first 38 years of my life I did not know I had Aspergers Syndrome, and when I did know the diagnosis, although it helped tremendously in lots of ways. It did not help in the relationship area because I had lost confidence years ago in my ability to make friendships.
I feel lonely not because I am alone, I am happy with my own company mostly, but there are times, like when mum is ill, I need help and companionship to get through it, because I have to do the house stuff and look after her, which I don't mind doing at all, but it is a struggle to cope in those times.
Also another aspect of my lack of effort at trying to make friendships, is down to the fact that I am not sure whether people want to be my friend, I am really glad that Elaine Evans has linked up with me and I am grateful for this relationship, but that is one person, I don't know if people want to be bothered with a person with like me, also the other side of the thing is that people who don't know I have Aspergers Syndrome, so perhaps think something that is far from the case.
I will be 50 in 2016, and I want to be free of this emotional encumbrance, but I have to address the issue and actually start asking people if they will be my friend and explain to them, when appropriate about the past.
I actually feel that I don't really have very good friendship skills, even at home with mum as she often says that she wants to be my friend more, but I get told I am selfish and don't care about her, perhaps that is why friendships failed in the past, but no one told me and maybe if they had told me and maybe I am not a good friend to my mum because I don't know how to make and keep friends, or at least that is how it has seemed for me.
As a person on the autism spectrum, I have struggled to make lasting friendships, and the ones I did have circumstances or change of heart on the part of people meant they ended. For the first 38 years of my life I did not know I had Aspergers Syndrome, and when I did know the diagnosis, although it helped tremendously in lots of ways. It did not help in the relationship area because I had lost confidence years ago in my ability to make friendships.
I feel lonely not because I am alone, I am happy with my own company mostly, but there are times, like when mum is ill, I need help and companionship to get through it, because I have to do the house stuff and look after her, which I don't mind doing at all, but it is a struggle to cope in those times.
Also another aspect of my lack of effort at trying to make friendships, is down to the fact that I am not sure whether people want to be my friend, I am really glad that Elaine Evans has linked up with me and I am grateful for this relationship, but that is one person, I don't know if people want to be bothered with a person with like me, also the other side of the thing is that people who don't know I have Aspergers Syndrome, so perhaps think something that is far from the case.
I will be 50 in 2016, and I want to be free of this emotional encumbrance, but I have to address the issue and actually start asking people if they will be my friend and explain to them, when appropriate about the past.
I actually feel that I don't really have very good friendship skills, even at home with mum as she often says that she wants to be my friend more, but I get told I am selfish and don't care about her, perhaps that is why friendships failed in the past, but no one told me and maybe if they had told me and maybe I am not a good friend to my mum because I don't know how to make and keep friends, or at least that is how it has seemed for me.
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