Why this title? well this is what it feels like today. two weeks ago I started the aches and pains, which my mum also went through just before me, then I got the "cough" and I have spent the last 5 days coughing my insides out with no respite, unless medication taken. Then the headaches and exhaustion and the malaise of the struggle to cope with feelings ill for 2 weeks. Mum is into her 3rd week and still not fully recovered, and I, well I am feeling grumpy, although the coughing seems to have eased a little today, although just had a coughing fit just this minute, famous last words eh!!
I love spring as a season and Easter is precious to me because of what it means, but it has been hard this year because of this bug, I have added back the weight which I lost leading up to it. Weight control is a pain in my life, and trying to get the balance has been hard all my life. From the depths of my very being I want to conquer it and find the right ratio of eating to exercise, that will work for me. If I can achieve that then I will be happier about myself and my life.
Feeling Grumpy is horrid and I don't like it, as I am generally a happy person, or at least I try to be. Life has its trials for all people at one level or another, so I am not saying I am any different, a part from the fact that I live with my mum and I don't have a job, but I work hard at my craft, but I rarely have anyone visit or any close friends who spend time with me, so I feel even more lonely during times like this. If mum is really poorly as she was a couple of years ago or last year. I felt totally alone and needed to email someone just so I didn't feel alone.
Friendship and community have become a greater issue with me, based on the fact that people I may need for help are too far away, should travel become impossible for some reason, and I am feeling this quite deeply in my life right now. As Mum gets older, I want to believe that things will not go the expected way.
But as things stand, right now, all I have on this planet is mum to help me. Yes, my brother is there, but he is not the same and would not see the world the way I do, even though I love him and value him. My desires in the Kingdom would not be taken into consideration. I can understand why people move into community living.
Friendship and community have become a greater issue with me, based on the fact that people I may need for help are too far away, should travel become impossible for some reason, and I am feeling this quite deeply in my life right now. As Mum gets older, I want to believe that things will not go the expected way.
But as things stand, right now, all I have on this planet is mum to help me. Yes, my brother is there, but he is not the same and would not see the world the way I do, even though I love him and value him. My desires in the Kingdom would not be taken into consideration. I can understand why people move into community living.
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