Autism has been my companion all my life, even when I did not know it or understand it. Sometimes I did not like it, sometimes I hated the way it made me feel. I did not understand that it was those around me that made me feel these things. I knew that life was easier when I did not need to try and integrate into the norms of of social expectations, and yet there were times when it was sad and a little depressing that I found making and keeping friends so hard.
Someone once asked me if having a diagnosis of autism helped, unfortunetly I was so surprised and caught off guard, and also in a large group of people, that I did not give a very full or clear answer.
But a few years along the way from that experience, I have an answer to that question.
I needed to know because if I had not found out, my life would not have been worth living, as it was, even with Jesus in my life, the quality of my existence was deminishing very rapidly at that point.
I was still in recovery from illness, after pancreatitis due to gall stones and an operation to sort that out. I returned to the job I had been doing, but could not cope as I did not feel fully recovered and the job had changed in the period I was away. My behavouir during this period was dangerous with me taking flight on several ocassions . Symptoms I now realise are related to P.T.S.D, from long term exposure to ongoing trauma. A fact I only became aware of in 2016. The journey of discovery of who I am and have life has affected me, is still ongoing.
I have certain level of freedom from talking to someone, but there is still work to be done.
I needed to know so that I could learn to live, so I could have the very basic expectations that most other people expect as thier right, but are not freely available or totally accessible.
Someone once asked me if having a diagnosis of autism helped, unfortunetly I was so surprised and caught off guard, and also in a large group of people, that I did not give a very full or clear answer.
But a few years along the way from that experience, I have an answer to that question.
I needed to know because if I had not found out, my life would not have been worth living, as it was, even with Jesus in my life, the quality of my existence was deminishing very rapidly at that point.
I was still in recovery from illness, after pancreatitis due to gall stones and an operation to sort that out. I returned to the job I had been doing, but could not cope as I did not feel fully recovered and the job had changed in the period I was away. My behavouir during this period was dangerous with me taking flight on several ocassions . Symptoms I now realise are related to P.T.S.D, from long term exposure to ongoing trauma. A fact I only became aware of in 2016. The journey of discovery of who I am and have life has affected me, is still ongoing.
I have certain level of freedom from talking to someone, but there is still work to be done.
I needed to know so that I could learn to live, so I could have the very basic expectations that most other people expect as thier right, but are not freely available or totally accessible.
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