Things are great with Jesus, but home is more than a little stressful.
I love mum heaps but her way of being just creates extra friction and stress.
I realise I don't help much but I do what I can when I can and it is so frustrating, and hurtful when she goes off on one. I don't think she realises how much these outbursts hurt me or the damage she does when she does them.
I feel so poorly today anyhow and she did not help by behaving the way she did. It is really hard to let these things pass because they hurt,while at the same time it diminshes my understanding and desire to take these outbursts seriously, because as she said herself, it is just her.
My expectations of what are my responsabilities in the home are very small because she does not allow me to do so much and there are things that I cannot do.
I also have physical problem as well which have never seemed to bother her, as much as she complains about the arthritis in her ankle, and the work she has to do in the garden.
I desparately want things to be better between us, not that we don't have a good relationship already most of the time, but knowing she feels the way she does which causes the outburst today, makes life a little more of a burden.
I am her daughter not a replacement for Dad which is how I feel sometimes, having to live my life in her pocket
No comments:
Post a Comment