I am beginning to feel OK with my situation and the need to loose weight. I have been forced by circumstances to see my life for what it is and the other challenges that have nothing to do with exercise or eating, but in a roundabout way affect the way I live my life.
I have not had a holiday since 2001, out of choice to some level mainly because the effort to get myself together for such a thing felt beyond my ability to achieve, after being ill in 2004.
As a person with Aspergers Syndrome(Autism.Spectrum.Disorder) my normal functioning day to day is with continuous level of anxiety not about anything in particular, it has just been there all my life. So any kind of happening that raises that level requires so much more energy to deal with that I get tired out more easily. The result is the workplace, any workplace is hard for me. I spent many years in and out of jobs after leaving school. These things all contribute to the situation I find myself in now.r
I have also struggled with the idea of flying away for a holiday. It is not the flight itself, as I think I would cope with that it is my ability to find my way. To navigate people and situations on my own, as My mum would not be able to go with me, as she is claustrophobic. So I have no close friends to go with, let alone anyone who would understand my difficulties, and I am feeling the lack of time out away from the busyness of life, and perhaps the mundane of life in some respects, made all the more present by the health things with blood platelets having to be monitored and type 2 diabetes, both of which need blood tests, which I don't find easy after being in hospital in 2004(see previous entry).
None of this is earth shattering but for me it is a raised level of stress that I have to cope with and deal with now. Also dieting is extra level of stress, which got me in this position, because I avoided facing up to it because I find it very difficult to do ( see previous entry)
Some people who don't have an A.S.D do not appreciate the extra effort it takes to live the life they lead or appreciate that it may even be impossible to lead the same kind of life they do.
We can find it hard to understand and integrate into social life of any kind, but this does not mean we don't want to. I would love to travel, to see a bit of the world, and on thinking about it I think that the amount of money I spend on clothes and craft supplies are a kind of replacement for a life not lived, as I would like to live it, with the opportunity of a job I could do, but is not available to me, and a home that is mine. I feel that in some ways the future could be bleak, but for my friend and saviour Jesus Christ.
I have not had a holiday since 2001, out of choice to some level mainly because the effort to get myself together for such a thing felt beyond my ability to achieve, after being ill in 2004.
As a person with Aspergers Syndrome(Autism.Spectrum.Disorder) my normal functioning day to day is with continuous level of anxiety not about anything in particular, it has just been there all my life. So any kind of happening that raises that level requires so much more energy to deal with that I get tired out more easily. The result is the workplace, any workplace is hard for me. I spent many years in and out of jobs after leaving school. These things all contribute to the situation I find myself in now.r
I have also struggled with the idea of flying away for a holiday. It is not the flight itself, as I think I would cope with that it is my ability to find my way. To navigate people and situations on my own, as My mum would not be able to go with me, as she is claustrophobic. So I have no close friends to go with, let alone anyone who would understand my difficulties, and I am feeling the lack of time out away from the busyness of life, and perhaps the mundane of life in some respects, made all the more present by the health things with blood platelets having to be monitored and type 2 diabetes, both of which need blood tests, which I don't find easy after being in hospital in 2004(see previous entry).
None of this is earth shattering but for me it is a raised level of stress that I have to cope with and deal with now. Also dieting is extra level of stress, which got me in this position, because I avoided facing up to it because I find it very difficult to do ( see previous entry)
Some people who don't have an A.S.D do not appreciate the extra effort it takes to live the life they lead or appreciate that it may even be impossible to lead the same kind of life they do.
We can find it hard to understand and integrate into social life of any kind, but this does not mean we don't want to. I would love to travel, to see a bit of the world, and on thinking about it I think that the amount of money I spend on clothes and craft supplies are a kind of replacement for a life not lived, as I would like to live it, with the opportunity of a job I could do, but is not available to me, and a home that is mine. I feel that in some ways the future could be bleak, but for my friend and saviour Jesus Christ.
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