All my life I have thought differently from the world around me, regarded as stubborn and maybe rebellious. BUT is this true, yes in some ways that could be true, but in others definitely not true.
I recognise that some of my thought patterns are not always healthy, especially in regard to friendship/relationship. Feeling isolated and lacking in friends has been an ongoing theme throughout my life.
For most of my life up until 2005, when I received the diagnosis of Asperger Syndrome (Autism), which went some way to explaining this particular difficulty in my life, I struggled with making long term friendships, partly due to circumstances, but mainly due to my lack of skill in this area, and because I find this area particularly difficult, it affects my life and my thoughts at times on a daily basis.
I have the ongoing relationship with Jesus, but I still find that hard at times, although I love him as a closer than close friend. This is a different kind of relationship, as it is not in the physical reality, but in the heaven reality that I relate to him.So I find
Following conversations, missing words, adding words that someone never said, are all things I have to cope with. The effort to function requires extra energy and concentration to achieve, something which others do naturally.
Intimate relationship is something I crave, such as marriage, but I also find challenging to think about as I often feel that I can barely function in this world on my own, and have difficulties, with understanding my mum whom I have lived with since I was in her womb, with maybe 2 months of my whole life, away from her. How would I cope with and relate to someone who barely knows me and does not wholly understand my needs and how would I understand him, and cope with life together.
These thoughts are part of my reality, so how do I change them, when I cannot change my reality.
I can change feeling sorry for myself thoughts, by being more positive about the future.
I can change thoughts that relate to things that I do, by not doing them.
I can also allow destructive,worry thoughts to be dealt with by handing them over to Jesus.
Which I have done and still do very quickly.
In recent weeks I have begun to feel the need for deeper friendship and community that is not so sparsely spread in my world.
Heaven has spoilt me for this world, in some ways but I am here to help God change things, and as things stand. feeling lonely does not help this.
I recognise that some of my thought patterns are not always healthy, especially in regard to friendship/relationship. Feeling isolated and lacking in friends has been an ongoing theme throughout my life.
For most of my life up until 2005, when I received the diagnosis of Asperger Syndrome (Autism), which went some way to explaining this particular difficulty in my life, I struggled with making long term friendships, partly due to circumstances, but mainly due to my lack of skill in this area, and because I find this area particularly difficult, it affects my life and my thoughts at times on a daily basis.
I have the ongoing relationship with Jesus, but I still find that hard at times, although I love him as a closer than close friend. This is a different kind of relationship, as it is not in the physical reality, but in the heaven reality that I relate to him.So I find
Following conversations, missing words, adding words that someone never said, are all things I have to cope with. The effort to function requires extra energy and concentration to achieve, something which others do naturally.
Intimate relationship is something I crave, such as marriage, but I also find challenging to think about as I often feel that I can barely function in this world on my own, and have difficulties, with understanding my mum whom I have lived with since I was in her womb, with maybe 2 months of my whole life, away from her. How would I cope with and relate to someone who barely knows me and does not wholly understand my needs and how would I understand him, and cope with life together.
These thoughts are part of my reality, so how do I change them, when I cannot change my reality.
I can change feeling sorry for myself thoughts, by being more positive about the future.
I can change thoughts that relate to things that I do, by not doing them.
I can also allow destructive,worry thoughts to be dealt with by handing them over to Jesus.
Which I have done and still do very quickly.
In recent weeks I have begun to feel the need for deeper friendship and community that is not so sparsely spread in my world.
Heaven has spoilt me for this world, in some ways but I am here to help God change things, and as things stand. feeling lonely does not help this.
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