I really don't know why she expects me to be a certain way when she is ill, dizzy or had migraines in the past. We were not allowed to get breakfast on mothers day and I was never allowed to be caring, but maybe as I am autistic I never understood those things that I heard other people talk about, and I was never taught how to be a nurse or that I should care. Now that I am well into my adulthood I struggle with mum being ill, because I don't know how to deal with it or with her getting angry with me when I don't do what she things I should do, according to her veiw of what should happen.
My heart sinks every time things like dizziness, or sickness happens with mum because, I know it is going to be difficult and I don't know how to deal with it, and no matter how many times it happens she still gets angry with me and upset, but never tries to help me or give me any advice, when all is alright and going fine.
Also her feeling guilty about me getting upset when she gets ill.
Who is the one at fault? in some respects we both are, but if you never incouraged your child to be caring when you are ill or you are kept away from someone who is ill then you never have the oppotunity to learn those skills. Illness is stressful when I have it, but it is double, maybe even triple the stress when mum is ill and she does not seem to get that and remains stubborn and unkind in her illness, as she ever has.
I realise now that migraine does not lend itself to people nursing or caring, but mum having migraine meant she disappeared for days when we went away camping and that was scary because I did not know what was happening then exactly, but I get that same feeling now as an adult when my mum gets ill.
I find it all the more stressful because I have an ASD and mum always critiscises me when I react to her being ill, but she does not get how or why I feel the way I do and does not seem to make an effort to try, when I am struggling to cope with it all in the first place.
My heart sinks every time things like dizziness, or sickness happens with mum because, I know it is going to be difficult and I don't know how to deal with it, and no matter how many times it happens she still gets angry with me and upset, but never tries to help me or give me any advice, when all is alright and going fine.
Also her feeling guilty about me getting upset when she gets ill.
Who is the one at fault? in some respects we both are, but if you never incouraged your child to be caring when you are ill or you are kept away from someone who is ill then you never have the oppotunity to learn those skills. Illness is stressful when I have it, but it is double, maybe even triple the stress when mum is ill and she does not seem to get that and remains stubborn and unkind in her illness, as she ever has.
I realise now that migraine does not lend itself to people nursing or caring, but mum having migraine meant she disappeared for days when we went away camping and that was scary because I did not know what was happening then exactly, but I get that same feeling now as an adult when my mum gets ill.
I find it all the more stressful because I have an ASD and mum always critiscises me when I react to her being ill, but she does not get how or why I feel the way I do and does not seem to make an effort to try, when I am struggling to cope with it all in the first place.
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