As a person on the spectrum in the physical world I am feeling the pressure of change, because other than Mum and this blog there is no one. To talk to about what I am feeling. I don't want to burden mum with these private things. Life is lonelier than I have felt it in the past. I have often felt lonely in the past because I don't find it easy to approach other people and ask for help or friendship. Perhaps it is pride to a certain level, but I don't think so it is more to do with the struggle of having to achieve something I find difficult.Past experiences have caused pain.
It is hard when you are left alone to get on with life, when nobody knows the struggles that are still part of your life and you find it difficult to let people know things when they think you are OK. I have to carry the good things that are part of my life and the changes which are good inevitably impact me because I still have Aspergers to cope with. I feel that other people want me to persue healing, so I can function in their world the same as them, but I don't want to be the same as them I want to be me, as Jesus made me because I like me as I am and I want to do the will of God as he made me, especially as he has told me that this is what he wants.
It is hard when you are left alone to get on with life, when nobody knows the struggles that are still part of your life and you find it difficult to let people know things when they think you are OK. I have to carry the good things that are part of my life and the changes which are good inevitably impact me because I still have Aspergers to cope with. I feel that other people want me to persue healing, so I can function in their world the same as them, but I don't want to be the same as them I want to be me, as Jesus made me because I like me as I am and I want to do the will of God as he made me, especially as he has told me that this is what he wants.
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